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Cigarette Ashes On My Clothes
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2008-July-18 • 13:47
So, I ended up brushing my teeth afterall. I DID NOT floss or use the little pointy brush on my wisdom teeth. Why I still have wisdom teeth is a mystery. It DOES explain how Solomic and sage I am.
I was so frustrated as I prepared for sleep last night, I wasn't paying attention when I tossed my cell phone onto the bed. A few moments later when I got between the sheets, the cell-phone remained where I tossed it and through the night was tangled up in the bedding. At some point it fell off the bottom of the bed into the gap between frame and mattress. During the night I woke and after getting a half a glass of Tropical Punch Kool-Aid, started one of the new books from the library. It hooked me and I read about 100 pages before I started dozing and dropping the book onto my face. Rather than risk blindness, I put the book aside and slipped back into the arms of Morpheus.
This morning I read another hundred pages. The book was really getting interesting. Just as philosphers wonder about the sound of a tree in the forest without someone to hear it fall, I didn't notice the absence of my phone because I didn't or couldn't hear it ringing. Just as you sometimes have a tune in your head you can't get rid of, I kept imagining I was hearing Beethoven's Fur Elise. The fact that I have used it as a ring-tone on my cell-phone for 2 years (because I can't figure out how to change it) didn't penetrate my early-morning brain until I had eaten a Power Bar, drunk a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew, and munched on 4 Oreos with chocolate Creme filling. That's when I noticed the phone wasn't in the usual spot and began my search. First the floor, then the bedroom sofa, then in the living room because maybe I was mis-remembering bringing it into the bedroom. Nothing. Fur Elise kept haunting me at five minute intervals but only a subtle whisper; never loud enough to lead me to the hiding place. Emulating my Mother I said a quick prayer to St. Anthony, the Saint of Lost Objects. My prayers have been ignored here because of past prayers for virginity, libido, and sanity, all things I have lost many years ago.
My booked, splayed open on the bed, I carefully moved. I didn't want to lose my place and I didn't want to dog-ear the page, so I placed it, still splayed, on top of my TV. The television is on the opposite side of my bed. The side I don't use. Now my bed was stripped down to linen, pillows and blankets strewn about the floor, I was sweating and beginning to have angina pains in my chest when....Fur Elise. It was coming from the bottom of the bed. St. Anthony relented and two seconds later I held the instrument in my hand.
The next few moments were spent putting my bed back in order, taking the empty Mountain Dew bottle to the kitchen and taking a nitro. Now it was time to climb back on the bed and continue my great read.
I couldn't find the book. I didn't even think of looking on top of the TV. I NEVER put anything on top of the TV. St. Anthony ignored my prayers because I'd used up my 'one-lost-object-request-per-decade' so my search began again. I won't bore you anymore but after an hour of more bed-mess, more angina, more nitro, and.....I put on my glasses and without the attending blur, saw my book splayed on top of the television.
I learned in some psych ward somewhere that it wasn't the major traumas and neurosis of one's life that drove one crazy. It was the little thing like the growing ash at the tip of your cigarette that might fall and get on your clothes. Of course it would be simple to just flick the ash in an ash tray, but people!...if things were simple one wouldn't be in a psych ward.
I blame this entire ferkacka day on that ferkacka toaster! Would someone please shoot me?
I was so frustrated as I prepared for sleep last night, I wasn't paying attention when I tossed my cell phone onto the bed. A few moments later when I got between the sheets, the cell-phone remained where I tossed it and through the night was tangled up in the bedding. At some point it fell off the bottom of the bed into the gap between frame and mattress. During the night I woke and after getting a half a glass of Tropical Punch Kool-Aid, started one of the new books from the library. It hooked me and I read about 100 pages before I started dozing and dropping the book onto my face. Rather than risk blindness, I put the book aside and slipped back into the arms of Morpheus.
This morning I read another hundred pages. The book was really getting interesting. Just as philosphers wonder about the sound of a tree in the forest without someone to hear it fall, I didn't notice the absence of my phone because I didn't or couldn't hear it ringing. Just as you sometimes have a tune in your head you can't get rid of, I kept imagining I was hearing Beethoven's Fur Elise. The fact that I have used it as a ring-tone on my cell-phone for 2 years (because I can't figure out how to change it) didn't penetrate my early-morning brain until I had eaten a Power Bar, drunk a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew, and munched on 4 Oreos with chocolate Creme filling. That's when I noticed the phone wasn't in the usual spot and began my search. First the floor, then the bedroom sofa, then in the living room because maybe I was mis-remembering bringing it into the bedroom. Nothing. Fur Elise kept haunting me at five minute intervals but only a subtle whisper; never loud enough to lead me to the hiding place. Emulating my Mother I said a quick prayer to St. Anthony, the Saint of Lost Objects. My prayers have been ignored here because of past prayers for virginity, libido, and sanity, all things I have lost many years ago.
My booked, splayed open on the bed, I carefully moved. I didn't want to lose my place and I didn't want to dog-ear the page, so I placed it, still splayed, on top of my TV. The television is on the opposite side of my bed. The side I don't use. Now my bed was stripped down to linen, pillows and blankets strewn about the floor, I was sweating and beginning to have angina pains in my chest when....Fur Elise. It was coming from the bottom of the bed. St. Anthony relented and two seconds later I held the instrument in my hand.
The next few moments were spent putting my bed back in order, taking the empty Mountain Dew bottle to the kitchen and taking a nitro. Now it was time to climb back on the bed and continue my great read.
I couldn't find the book. I didn't even think of looking on top of the TV. I NEVER put anything on top of the TV. St. Anthony ignored my prayers because I'd used up my 'one-lost-object-request-per-decade' so my search began again. I won't bore you anymore but after an hour of more bed-mess, more angina, more nitro, and.....I put on my glasses and without the attending blur, saw my book splayed on top of the television.
I learned in some psych ward somewhere that it wasn't the major traumas and neurosis of one's life that drove one crazy. It was the little thing like the growing ash at the tip of your cigarette that might fall and get on your clothes. Of course it would be simple to just flick the ash in an ash tray, but people!...if things were simple one wouldn't be in a psych ward.
I blame this entire ferkacka day on that ferkacka toaster! Would someone please shoot me?
Just A Little Upset
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-July-17 • 20:11
Just before Christmas of 2005, I bought some books and magazines at Barnes and Noble and they put them in a Christmasy shopping bag. This afternoon, I went to the library to exchange books and as always carried the returns and the new loans in that very same Christmas Barnes and Noble bag. Considering that it was free (or at least the cost was buried somewhere in the outrageous cost of the books) after using it at least twice a month for almost 3 years, I would think I have gotten my money's worth and those Chinese really make a good bag.
I am upset because about 20 minutes ago I had a craving for some peanut butter toast. Why I just charged ahead with that plan without analyzing how I would feel using my defective toaster, I just do not have the answer. It took 15 minutes to make two slices of toast. First I toasted it on one side. Then I toasted it on the other side. And since the damned toaster doesn't complete the toasting in one cycle, like a bottle of shampoo I had to toast and repeat!!! It upset me so much, I didn't even enjoy the toast. Usually I sprinkle the peanut butter toast with cinnamon, but at this point my life was such drek, I just thought to myself..."why bother?"
I'm just going to take a pill and go to sleep. I'm not even sure I shall brush my teeth. Let the peanut butter fester in the crevices all night. In the broad scheme of things, what does it matter.
Ah me!
I am upset because about 20 minutes ago I had a craving for some peanut butter toast. Why I just charged ahead with that plan without analyzing how I would feel using my defective toaster, I just do not have the answer. It took 15 minutes to make two slices of toast. First I toasted it on one side. Then I toasted it on the other side. And since the damned toaster doesn't complete the toasting in one cycle, like a bottle of shampoo I had to toast and repeat!!! It upset me so much, I didn't even enjoy the toast. Usually I sprinkle the peanut butter toast with cinnamon, but at this point my life was such drek, I just thought to myself..."why bother?"
I'm just going to take a pill and go to sleep. I'm not even sure I shall brush my teeth. Let the peanut butter fester in the crevices all night. In the broad scheme of things, what does it matter.
Ah me!
Past Blasts
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2008-July-09 • 19:31
How did I survive for over 35 years without bottled water? This afternoon I went to Sam's Club for three cases of water and spent an hour or so loading it into the refrigerator. (I was tempted to say icebox but how the fuck old do you think I am?) With 72 bottles of water and 18 bottles of diet Mountain Dew, plus a dozen liters of Pelagrino I don't have any room in there for food. The water in Duluth used to have a reputation as being WONDERFUL water. They just dipped a ladle into it, pushed it through a pipe and delighted the masses, fish crap, rusty cans, spilled iron-ore, sea-gull shit and all. I used to swim in the lake at Park Point. The Axeman wrote me about how cold the lake water is. Our skin would turn blue and after a half hour in the water my weenie was smaller than most clean-up batters at the All-Star game. (I just thought of something....even with steroids my weenie is probably smaller than most clean-up batters at the All-Star game)
The plan is to spend the day on the beach tomorrow but it doesn't look like the weather is going to cooperate. Back to the Lake Superior water....it tastes like crap. I say that figuratively because I don't have an actual comparison. Whatever happened in the last 40 years has ruined the lake water....and so Sam's family gets my money.
Bob Brokeman...salesmanager at U100...reminded me of some time spent as a youth in River City. I was good but I was no Eddie Hodges!! Great to hear from you, Bob!
The plan is to spend the day on the beach tomorrow but it doesn't look like the weather is going to cooperate. Back to the Lake Superior water....it tastes like crap. I say that figuratively because I don't have an actual comparison. Whatever happened in the last 40 years has ruined the lake water....and so Sam's family gets my money.
Bob Brokeman...salesmanager at U100...reminded me of some time spent as a youth in River City. I was good but I was no Eddie Hodges!! Great to hear from you, Bob!
Shopping At The Mall
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Tuesday, 2008-July-08 • 20:08
What could be better than spending a couple of hours at the Mall shopping with my nephews. I had plenty of plastic in my wallet and would have indulgently bought them almost anything. When it came down to it though, they ended up buying a couple of cap-guns from the Dollar Store. Those cheap cap-gun pistols thrilled these two 7 years old boys.
I was trying to remember what would have thrilled me when I was seven. I can't really remember. When I was five I wanted a beaver costume. It was the beginning of my theatrical bent. When I was six I wanted my Dad to bring me a box of Nibs and let me stay up to listen on the radio to Mr. Keene, Tracer of Lost Persons. Whe I was seven I used to dress like Hopalong Cassidy and I KNOW I had a six-shooter or two. When I was eight I wanted the war in Korea to end, Sister Joseph Marie to drop dead, no more world hunger, the defeat of International Communism and freedom for Red China.
When I was nine I realized life is not fair. The Korean War never really ended (truce & cease fire)....Sister J-M lived to be 91....the world is still hungry (I could use a bacon sandwich RIGHT NOW but bacon is so expensive)....it took years to defeat the Commies and China is still Red....and I'm still waiting for those Nibs. (I ordered a beaver costume from a company in Southern California but what I got wasn't what I expected...A couple of months ago I found it packed away but it is almost sixty years old and all the beaver hair had fallen off....now it's a shaved beaver costume)
Would I want to be a seven year old in 2008? I'm not sure. Think of all the things I would have missed.
I was trying to remember what would have thrilled me when I was seven. I can't really remember. When I was five I wanted a beaver costume. It was the beginning of my theatrical bent. When I was six I wanted my Dad to bring me a box of Nibs and let me stay up to listen on the radio to Mr. Keene, Tracer of Lost Persons. Whe I was seven I used to dress like Hopalong Cassidy and I KNOW I had a six-shooter or two. When I was eight I wanted the war in Korea to end, Sister Joseph Marie to drop dead, no more world hunger, the defeat of International Communism and freedom for Red China.
When I was nine I realized life is not fair. The Korean War never really ended (truce & cease fire)....Sister J-M lived to be 91....the world is still hungry (I could use a bacon sandwich RIGHT NOW but bacon is so expensive)....it took years to defeat the Commies and China is still Red....and I'm still waiting for those Nibs. (I ordered a beaver costume from a company in Southern California but what I got wasn't what I expected...A couple of months ago I found it packed away but it is almost sixty years old and all the beaver hair had fallen off....now it's a shaved beaver costume)
Would I want to be a seven year old in 2008? I'm not sure. Think of all the things I would have missed.
EGGS!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Monday, 2008-July-07 • 21:23
I would have to be awfully hungry to cook up 4-5 eggs for lunch. My guess is that would be the case with most people except maybe those huge fat guys on Jerry Springer. There was one guy who was so huge they had to tear out a wall to move him to a hospital. He kept on saying that he really didn't eat all that much...while knocking down a pound of bacon.
Anyway, where as most people wouldn't admit to having 4 eggs for lunch, what is the deal with deviled eggs? I could eat 8 deviled eggs without even blinking. That's 4 eggs PLUS mayo! And other stuff! I have decided I will no longer attend parties featuring deviled eggs. (Are there supposed to be 2 L's in devilled? No....that looks like it is some kind of ghetto Caddie) Anyway...no more deviled egg parties. My luck I'd go to the party and they'd have to tear out a wall so I could leave.
When I smoked I hated going to people's houses where they enforced a No Smoking rule. I say that because I had some company and I knew they smoked. I allowed them to smoke in my home. That's why God invented Fabrese. When I smoked and visited a non-smoking home in the winter in California I would be standing out on the patio with the dog...both of us shivering and getting wet. That dog didn't understand why I was with him on the patio while the party continued inside. You know he just thought I was out there for sticking my nose in people's crotches and humping some lady's leg. Just like him.
Have you seen the price of bacon these days? Pre-cooked bacon costs at least $2 per slice. What a convenience. At that rate I won't be able to afford a new wall.
Anyway, where as most people wouldn't admit to having 4 eggs for lunch, what is the deal with deviled eggs? I could eat 8 deviled eggs without even blinking. That's 4 eggs PLUS mayo! And other stuff! I have decided I will no longer attend parties featuring deviled eggs. (Are there supposed to be 2 L's in devilled? No....that looks like it is some kind of ghetto Caddie) Anyway...no more deviled egg parties. My luck I'd go to the party and they'd have to tear out a wall so I could leave.
When I smoked I hated going to people's houses where they enforced a No Smoking rule. I say that because I had some company and I knew they smoked. I allowed them to smoke in my home. That's why God invented Fabrese. When I smoked and visited a non-smoking home in the winter in California I would be standing out on the patio with the dog...both of us shivering and getting wet. That dog didn't understand why I was with him on the patio while the party continued inside. You know he just thought I was out there for sticking my nose in people's crotches and humping some lady's leg. Just like him.
Have you seen the price of bacon these days? Pre-cooked bacon costs at least $2 per slice. What a convenience. At that rate I won't be able to afford a new wall.
Prices!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Sunday, 2008-July-06 • 15:36
Now I am even more depressed. I figured it out that the baguette cost me 13.8 cents per bite! I know a dominatrix who is cheaper! Cindy's comment to my last blog is priceless! Another reason why I still talk to her after 35 years!
Mesa says the drugs from Bangkok are cheap...it WAS Bangkok wasn't it? I can't remember and I just read it 2 minutes ago. Bangkok is cheap? I refer to you my dominatrix comment!
What a wonderfully hot and humid week-end it has been. I bought a box fan at WalMart 5 years ago and it has been running almost constantly since then, winter, summer. I paid $14 for it. On THAT I'm getting my money's worth. Those Chinese slave laborers really make a good box fan. The Kathy Lee toaster I bought was crap!
High blood pressure meds....hmmmmm. I'm lucky to have any blood pressure at all.
Back to work tomorrow?.....not for me.....tomorrow I shall...well....do....nothing.
Rob
Mesa says the drugs from Bangkok are cheap...it WAS Bangkok wasn't it? I can't remember and I just read it 2 minutes ago. Bangkok is cheap? I refer to you my dominatrix comment!
What a wonderfully hot and humid week-end it has been. I bought a box fan at WalMart 5 years ago and it has been running almost constantly since then, winter, summer. I paid $14 for it. On THAT I'm getting my money's worth. Those Chinese slave laborers really make a good box fan. The Kathy Lee toaster I bought was crap!
High blood pressure meds....hmmmmm. I'm lucky to have any blood pressure at all.
Back to work tomorrow?.....not for me.....tomorrow I shall...well....do....nothing.
Rob
EGAD!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Saturday, 2008-July-05 • 18:54
I just paid $4.45 for a baguette! For God's sake I used to buy them in San Francisco for a buck.
I am totally depressed. How much am I paying for Prozac?
R
I am totally depressed. How much am I paying for Prozac?
R
What's Wrong With Me?
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-June-26 • 16:07
Sorry for the lack of Bloggin even though I had every intention of being here regularly this month. Last week I was so overcome with ennui that I just had to go somewhere. There is nothing I like better than temps in the 90's and humidity of at least 140 percent. Key West!
What I needed was a week or so of lounging on a chaize and watching the palmetto bugs steal the patio furniture. Key West in the summer is NOT the tourist season. The local clubs are loaded with locals and tourists too poor to visit in the winter. I knew I was in trouble when I invited some strangers to hang at my place. I just made a batch of pickle-juice popsicles (you have to churn them three or four times BEFORE inserting the stick) and without a pool or patio furniture there was nothing to do but sample my frozen delights and drink alcohol. The only thing I had to drink were a couple of dozen bottles of Miller Chill. Between the pickle-juice and the lime beer there was more puckering on my patio then at a Best Buns Contest on Castro Street in SF.
I learned at my Mother's knee or some other low-down joint, not to mix booze and since I was already 120 percent in the bag I agreed to go out. It was either hang with my new friends or the palmetto bugs so I ended up at some bar. Bars don't have a great attraction for me. I especially eschew bars where there is squeeling. There was more squeeling at this bar than at a Hormel Plant or a Best Buns Contest, for that matter. Since it was the "off" season, the buns weren't the best and the squeels were often those of disappointment. It sounded like Clay Aiken at a Little Oscar Buffet.
Eventually, I got home, finished off my last 2 bottles of Chill and rode my bed until I passed out. When I awoke six hours later, the palmetto's had rented a Ryder truck and cleaned out my place except my bed and refrigerator. All that was left was a half row of Saltines and a can of Vienna Sausages. They made be extremely self-concious and before I finished them I was squealing like George Michael when he sees a highway rest-stop exit sign.
I will be home next week just in time for the tourist season in Duluth. This year summer is on July 16th and I don't want to miss it. Watching the uninitiated go swimming in the always-cold Lake Superior is special. There's more shrinkage on Park Point beach then there is in Barry Bonds jock-strap. All that squealing makes me think of Key West.
Take care....
Rob
What I needed was a week or so of lounging on a chaize and watching the palmetto bugs steal the patio furniture. Key West in the summer is NOT the tourist season. The local clubs are loaded with locals and tourists too poor to visit in the winter. I knew I was in trouble when I invited some strangers to hang at my place. I just made a batch of pickle-juice popsicles (you have to churn them three or four times BEFORE inserting the stick) and without a pool or patio furniture there was nothing to do but sample my frozen delights and drink alcohol. The only thing I had to drink were a couple of dozen bottles of Miller Chill. Between the pickle-juice and the lime beer there was more puckering on my patio then at a Best Buns Contest on Castro Street in SF.
I learned at my Mother's knee or some other low-down joint, not to mix booze and since I was already 120 percent in the bag I agreed to go out. It was either hang with my new friends or the palmetto bugs so I ended up at some bar. Bars don't have a great attraction for me. I especially eschew bars where there is squeeling. There was more squeeling at this bar than at a Hormel Plant or a Best Buns Contest, for that matter. Since it was the "off" season, the buns weren't the best and the squeels were often those of disappointment. It sounded like Clay Aiken at a Little Oscar Buffet.
Eventually, I got home, finished off my last 2 bottles of Chill and rode my bed until I passed out. When I awoke six hours later, the palmetto's had rented a Ryder truck and cleaned out my place except my bed and refrigerator. All that was left was a half row of Saltines and a can of Vienna Sausages. They made be extremely self-concious and before I finished them I was squealing like George Michael when he sees a highway rest-stop exit sign.
I will be home next week just in time for the tourist season in Duluth. This year summer is on July 16th and I don't want to miss it. Watching the uninitiated go swimming in the always-cold Lake Superior is special. There's more shrinkage on Park Point beach then there is in Barry Bonds jock-strap. All that squealing makes me think of Key West.
Take care....
Rob
Stuck On Bagel
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2008-June-13 • 15:05
My friend, Mike, gave me a toaster in 1993. In 1988 or 89 I did a bridal registry at several department stores but never got a gift from that. I am not sure why Mike gave me a toaster and a very cheap toaster to boot. Even he admits this was a $7 toaster. All during my time in SF I used that toaster. I couldn't use the toaster and the micro-wave at the same time without blowing a fuse. It only had two narrow slots and was definitely a low-tech toaster. In 2003 it was time for an upgrade. It still worked, but I was fascinated by new toasters. A year ago I plunked down $49 dollars for a new toaster. The Mike Toaster went in the thrift store pile.
My new toaster has wide slots, warming, defrosting, and a toast-only-one-side-bagel-setting. This toaster was sketch from the start.
1. When finished it didn't pop up enough to grab with fingers and I had to use tongs to retrieve almost everything
2. To really toast something you had to double push. Unless you weren't after toast but merely warm bread
3. It was bulky and took lots of room.
4. Things seem to burst into flame frequently.
And now...it is stuck on Bagel! To toast both sides of ANYTHING you must rotate the item and since everything is a double push anyway that means to make two slices of toast you have to quadruple push! It was so much trouble that instead of making my own lunch I ate at the Olive Garden.
What really bugs me is that some special person who works at Goodwill had some really good toast for lunch.
Have a good week-end!
Rob
My new toaster has wide slots, warming, defrosting, and a toast-only-one-side-bagel-setting. This toaster was sketch from the start.
1. When finished it didn't pop up enough to grab with fingers and I had to use tongs to retrieve almost everything
2. To really toast something you had to double push. Unless you weren't after toast but merely warm bread
3. It was bulky and took lots of room.
4. Things seem to burst into flame frequently.
And now...it is stuck on Bagel! To toast both sides of ANYTHING you must rotate the item and since everything is a double push anyway that means to make two slices of toast you have to quadruple push! It was so much trouble that instead of making my own lunch I ate at the Olive Garden.
What really bugs me is that some special person who works at Goodwill had some really good toast for lunch.
Have a good week-end!
Rob
Getting Angry
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-June-12 • 21:26
Not really angry but let's just say I'm in a bit of a snit. It's this tomato thing! Am I stupid or is it because people aren't washing the tomato before using them or is the problem that the 'taint' is actually IN the juice of the tomato. Like if something pollutes the tomato field and the polluted stuff gets sucked up the stem and is INSIDE the tomato. It isn't that I'm p.o.'d because the tomatos are bad. Come on....they say the Florida tomatos are o.k.....the California tomatos are o.k......so what does that leave. Is it the MEXICAN tomatos!!!! The LIBS want us to become more '3rd World'...Yeah! I just want more poopy tomatos in the U.S.
Here is the deal. When you are in the grocery store standing in front of the tomatos, simply stick your finger in your butt. Then take a tomato and sniff it. Then sniff your finger. If they both smell like ass....don't buy the tomato.
Today I had the cold hamburger sandwich I have dreamed about. My brother BBQ'd some burgers and I saved one for the fridge. I put the cold burger on a big hunk of sourdough with mayo, Dijon mustard, ice-berg lettuce, and a big dill pickle. Wow! I loved it. It is important to cut the cold burger in half and lightly salt the insides of the cold burger. Oh...I also had some left over cooked, but cold onions. Double Wow!
Rob
Here is the deal. When you are in the grocery store standing in front of the tomatos, simply stick your finger in your butt. Then take a tomato and sniff it. Then sniff your finger. If they both smell like ass....don't buy the tomato.
Today I had the cold hamburger sandwich I have dreamed about. My brother BBQ'd some burgers and I saved one for the fridge. I put the cold burger on a big hunk of sourdough with mayo, Dijon mustard, ice-berg lettuce, and a big dill pickle. Wow! I loved it. It is important to cut the cold burger in half and lightly salt the insides of the cold burger. Oh...I also had some left over cooked, but cold onions. Double Wow!
Rob
Having A Garden Party
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Tuesday, 2008-June-10 • 15:10
I had so intended to blog every day this month...or at least a lot of consecutive days....but yesterday I just didn't feel like it. I woke a little light headed, by noon was ditzy and by late afternoon became gaga before finally avoiding an out-right swoon by crawling into bed before 9pm. There wasn't anything on TV to watch anyway.
Making matters worse, I had been dreaming about my meatloaf sandwich since Saturday and just didn't have the energy to create one. Ended up with a couple of potato-flour white bread sandwiches. One a PB&J sandwich made with Dillman Farm All-Natural Peanut Butter and some huckleberry jelly from the Huckleberry Festival in Bingen, Washington. I toasted the the other sandwich slices, coverered the warm toast with peanut butter and sliced banana and sprinkled with cinnamon. I was almost out of milk (barely half a glass) and too lazy to go to the store so after stretching what milk I had with tiny sips, finished off the sandwiches with Cherry Kool-Aid.
My brother is BBQing burgers tomorrow and he has promised me a couple of extra to bring home with me. Now I'm dreaming of Thursday and a cold hamburger sandwich. I'll be in heaven.
Rob
Making matters worse, I had been dreaming about my meatloaf sandwich since Saturday and just didn't have the energy to create one. Ended up with a couple of potato-flour white bread sandwiches. One a PB&J sandwich made with Dillman Farm All-Natural Peanut Butter and some huckleberry jelly from the Huckleberry Festival in Bingen, Washington. I toasted the the other sandwich slices, coverered the warm toast with peanut butter and sliced banana and sprinkled with cinnamon. I was almost out of milk (barely half a glass) and too lazy to go to the store so after stretching what milk I had with tiny sips, finished off the sandwiches with Cherry Kool-Aid.
My brother is BBQing burgers tomorrow and he has promised me a couple of extra to bring home with me. Now I'm dreaming of Thursday and a cold hamburger sandwich. I'll be in heaven.
Rob
Sunday Brunch
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Sunday, 2008-June-08 • 14:40
A while back I was talking on the phone to my brother, Tim, and he was telling me some story about a comment his wife had made. The context of the account isn't important. What happened though, I laughed so hard that I fainted! Anyone who has ever fainted understands the strange feeling you have when you return to the concious world. It takes a moment for your mind to process where you are and why you are where you are. When I regained awareness it took me a moment to understand why I was slumped in chair and why my phone was between my body and the cushions and why my brother was no longer on the phone. It seems when I went silent, Tim had waited a few moments, hung up the phone and went to bed. It was until 20 minutes later when I called to explain why I had disappeared that they found out it was because I passed out.
I tell this story because this morning I came close again. I was watching a DVR of Dame Edna on some British show I recorded last night and I began laughing so hard I felt conciousness slipping away and was only saved by the pause button. When it is finally time to "....shed this mortal coil..." I hope this is how it is. Come to think of it if the end had come during that phone call with my brother or this morning watching Dame Edna, how wonderful it would be to have actually died laughing.
At some point in the last 25 years I read a Nero Wolfe mystery in which the title character and his chef, Fritz, are having a disagreement over how to cook scrambled eggs. Nero Wolfe suggests that any scrambled eggs that haven't been cooked for at least 40 minutes are inedible. You do realize that you have to cook them VERY slow for the cooking to take forty minutes. I have tried many times in the ensuing years and this morning achieved a personal best cooking my scrambled eggs for just over 34 minutes. Cooked in real butter and accompanied by some apple-maple-pork sausage and sourdough toast, the eggs were as creamy as melted ice-cream.
Nothing much on TV tonight. I'm looking forward to season 3 of Dexter, The Closer, the new episodes of Burn Notice and of course all the various reality competitions. Nothing on the horizon that will make me faint.
Rob
I tell this story because this morning I came close again. I was watching a DVR of Dame Edna on some British show I recorded last night and I began laughing so hard I felt conciousness slipping away and was only saved by the pause button. When it is finally time to "....shed this mortal coil..." I hope this is how it is. Come to think of it if the end had come during that phone call with my brother or this morning watching Dame Edna, how wonderful it would be to have actually died laughing.
At some point in the last 25 years I read a Nero Wolfe mystery in which the title character and his chef, Fritz, are having a disagreement over how to cook scrambled eggs. Nero Wolfe suggests that any scrambled eggs that haven't been cooked for at least 40 minutes are inedible. You do realize that you have to cook them VERY slow for the cooking to take forty minutes. I have tried many times in the ensuing years and this morning achieved a personal best cooking my scrambled eggs for just over 34 minutes. Cooked in real butter and accompanied by some apple-maple-pork sausage and sourdough toast, the eggs were as creamy as melted ice-cream.
Nothing much on TV tonight. I'm looking forward to season 3 of Dexter, The Closer, the new episodes of Burn Notice and of course all the various reality competitions. Nothing on the horizon that will make me faint.
Rob
Movie Recommendation!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Saturday, 2008-June-07 • 16:46
Went to see Zodan this afternoon and laughed my ass off. I am just sophomoric enough to find it very humorous. If the Arabs were upset with the Danish cartoons, this movie should put them in a frenzy. Good!
Saw the woman from last night again today. I told her I was going to the movies and she told me she hadn't been to a movie in 22 years. Can you imagine that? She missed Porky's and Porky's II...not to mention Deuce Bigalow! And that movie with Luicano Pavoratti....
Anyway, I have a veal meatloaf in the oven and plan to eat my dinner and watch the last two episodes of Dexter, Season II. Later sweet cheeks!
Rob
Saw the woman from last night again today. I told her I was going to the movies and she told me she hadn't been to a movie in 22 years. Can you imagine that? She missed Porky's and Porky's II...not to mention Deuce Bigalow! And that movie with Luicano Pavoratti....
Anyway, I have a veal meatloaf in the oven and plan to eat my dinner and watch the last two episodes of Dexter, Season II. Later sweet cheeks!
Rob
Living With Loonies!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2008-June-06 • 19:55
Why is it that where ever I live, I am surrounded by nuts! I spent a lot of San Francisco time surrounded by a cast of seriously psychotic people and it seems I have found the local mental institution. Just after lunch I took off and spent the day and evening with some friends. When I walked through the lobby door upon returning, my arms were full of packages and plastic bags and thankfully one of the other tenants was there to open the door for me. Her courtesty required me to listen to her complaints. It seems the the Fire Department across the street has been making a lot of unnecessary calls. The woman told me she doubted there were THAT many emergencies. (Of course...the Fire Department guys every so often turn on the sirens and drive around the block just to bug the old ladies in this building!...)...Also, she was wondering who to call because the planes have been flying too low, people have been slamming their car doors late at night ("Why can't they close them softly?")...and today the mail man was a different guy and didn't look 'kosher'. I am not exactly sure how to interpret that...if he didn't look 'kosher' does that mean the mailman wasn't circumsized?...or likes bagels and...peanut butter....or was just a crook who killed the regular guy and was stealing everyone's Suave Conditioner Sample? I shouldn't be surprised because last summer at the building picnic I was told that V.P. Cheney helped destroy the Trade Center, Roosevelt died in 1940 and was replaced by a double....and so was Churchill....and Bush should be tried and hanged...and....Kennedy was killed by Nixon...and the FBI....and ...and....and.....
I have never been much for fish sticks. Actually I have never tasted one. As a kid, Fridays were meatless for our family and I ate a lot of mushroom sauce spaghetti and grilled cheese sandwiches. For lunch today I stepped back into that Friday comfort food with a steaming bowl of tomato soup, lightly flavored with basil, and a three-cheese (Cheddar, Jack, and Mozzarella) grilled sandwich. I buttered both sides of a couple of slices of country white bread and piled on the cheeses. I cheated by sticking it in the microwave for about 15 seconds before grilling in a moderately hot skillet. I wanted to make sure the cheese melted and mingled without burning the butter. With grilled cheese sandwiches I have a foible. I dip them in ketchup. The sandwich, tomato soup and a glass of ice-cold milk and I was 12 again!
My webmaster is doing his monthly Air National Guard duty this week-end, so it will be Monday or Tuesday before the next chapter is posted. I'm already working on Chapter 23...
Hope you are all having a great week-end!
Rob
I have never been much for fish sticks. Actually I have never tasted one. As a kid, Fridays were meatless for our family and I ate a lot of mushroom sauce spaghetti and grilled cheese sandwiches. For lunch today I stepped back into that Friday comfort food with a steaming bowl of tomato soup, lightly flavored with basil, and a three-cheese (Cheddar, Jack, and Mozzarella) grilled sandwich. I buttered both sides of a couple of slices of country white bread and piled on the cheeses. I cheated by sticking it in the microwave for about 15 seconds before grilling in a moderately hot skillet. I wanted to make sure the cheese melted and mingled without burning the butter. With grilled cheese sandwiches I have a foible. I dip them in ketchup. The sandwich, tomato soup and a glass of ice-cold milk and I was 12 again!
My webmaster is doing his monthly Air National Guard duty this week-end, so it will be Monday or Tuesday before the next chapter is posted. I'm already working on Chapter 23...
Hope you are all having a great week-end!
Rob
Movie & A Clif Bar!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-June-05 • 12:31
Since I am just killing some time before catching a movie, I thought I'd update you on my Chapter 22 progress. It is finished and just waiting for some fine tuning. Chapter 23 is in the early stages. As My Story progresses it seems to become more personal and perhaps that can be translated to more boring. Well, it's My Story and I'm sticking to it.
I've decided to catch Ironman. Its been out for weeks and I better check it out before it beats me to DVD. Only other new movie is the Sex In The City movie and I'd rather be in a major bike/car accident, run over by the ambulance driven by an EMT with a gorrilla on his back, delivered to the operating room to a surgeon who just secretly drank a quart of Jack Daniels before OD'ing on BreathSavers and as the life saving procedure begins the hospital oxygen tanks explode and every fire-hydrant between Duluth and Nova Scotia dries up just as a gang of hydrophobic chimpanzees escape from Chimp Eden and steal 1,000 typewriters in an attempt to duplicate the writings of Shakespeare than see Sex In The City.
I probably will skip the popcorn and just enjoy a Clif Bar during the movie. Last night I baked a couple of chicken breasts with hungarian paprika, garlic, and onions and put them in the fridge. For lunch I hand sliced a couple of thick pieces of 8 grain bread and buttered one slice. I piled a sliced chicken breast onto one slice and covered it with an ample dollop of home-made mayonaise mixed with just a drop or two of fresh lemon juice. I sprinkled cold-cooked spinach and sliced black olives on top of the mayo and covered it all with the other bread slice. Cut on the bias with a half a cup of cottage cheese sprinkled with parmesan cheese and sliced Roma tomatoes on the side, I won't need No Stinkin' Popcorn.
Question: What is your favorite song from the 'Disco Era'? Later.....Rob
I've decided to catch Ironman. Its been out for weeks and I better check it out before it beats me to DVD. Only other new movie is the Sex In The City movie and I'd rather be in a major bike/car accident, run over by the ambulance driven by an EMT with a gorrilla on his back, delivered to the operating room to a surgeon who just secretly drank a quart of Jack Daniels before OD'ing on BreathSavers and as the life saving procedure begins the hospital oxygen tanks explode and every fire-hydrant between Duluth and Nova Scotia dries up just as a gang of hydrophobic chimpanzees escape from Chimp Eden and steal 1,000 typewriters in an attempt to duplicate the writings of Shakespeare than see Sex In The City.
I probably will skip the popcorn and just enjoy a Clif Bar during the movie. Last night I baked a couple of chicken breasts with hungarian paprika, garlic, and onions and put them in the fridge. For lunch I hand sliced a couple of thick pieces of 8 grain bread and buttered one slice. I piled a sliced chicken breast onto one slice and covered it with an ample dollop of home-made mayonaise mixed with just a drop or two of fresh lemon juice. I sprinkled cold-cooked spinach and sliced black olives on top of the mayo and covered it all with the other bread slice. Cut on the bias with a half a cup of cottage cheese sprinkled with parmesan cheese and sliced Roma tomatoes on the side, I won't need No Stinkin' Popcorn.
Question: What is your favorite song from the 'Disco Era'? Later.....Rob
Bub-bi!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2008-June-04 • 14:08
Well! So far June is much better than May. I was actually putting some finishing touches on Chapter 22 for My Story and in addition to a break for lunch, thought I would do a bit of blogging. My friend, Rachel, whom I have know for 25 years is a wonderful blogger on My Space and she has shamed me into being more attentive to THIS...my personal blog. She and I are both aghast at the news of Clay Aikman's turkey-baster father-hood. I fixed a wonderful sandwich for lunch. On a couple of slices of crusty sourdough wheat bread I buttered one slice, piled on a couple of slices of canned Argentinian corned beef, a couple of very thin-sliced purple onion and some home-made Russian dressing with just a tad of horse-radish. It was so messy and crumbly I ended up eating it leaning over the sink.
Speaking of Clay Aikman, are all the 'hosts' on QVC and HSN gay? I sort of expect a flamer to be peddling women's make-up, hair-products, and stretch plus-size Capri pants but when they are selling a power washer and the host talks to a customer why do they ALWAYS end the phone call by saying, "Bub-Bi?" Why not Good Bye? Or why not, "See you"? or how about "Later"? or even "get off the phone, loser". Anything but...."BUB-BI".
Someone just wrote and asked me if I had any audio tapes of shows on KDWB. Hmmmm. Not really. Oh, well. What's the deal with Madilyn Migden...or whatever her name is...? Her entire face is petrified. Really. You don't even know who she is. You don't care. Well then.....Bub-bi.
Rob
Speaking of Clay Aikman, are all the 'hosts' on QVC and HSN gay? I sort of expect a flamer to be peddling women's make-up, hair-products, and stretch plus-size Capri pants but when they are selling a power washer and the host talks to a customer why do they ALWAYS end the phone call by saying, "Bub-Bi?" Why not Good Bye? Or why not, "See you"? or how about "Later"? or even "get off the phone, loser". Anything but...."BUB-BI".
Someone just wrote and asked me if I had any audio tapes of shows on KDWB. Hmmmm. Not really. Oh, well. What's the deal with Madilyn Migden...or whatever her name is...? Her entire face is petrified. Really. You don't even know who she is. You don't care. Well then.....Bub-bi.
Rob
What A Week!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Saturday, 2008-May-24 • 14:38
I can understand if nobody reads this since my attention to my blog has been spotty at best. But....what a crazy week it was! I ended up having to spend a couple of nights in the hospital for some tests. I can assure you it wasn't something I planned because they were just super. Almost every business could use some of the 'people skills' exhibited by the staff of St. Lukes. In spite of that...hospitals suck.
The beds aren't comfortable and it is difficult to sleep on your back when you are used to sleeping on your side. You are connected to all sorts of machines and regularly prodded and poked. Dracula's minions stop by all through the night to get him a snack and because my test involved an incision in the upper leg there was an unnatural interest in my groin. Every nurse and doctor who came in the room was overcome with an immediate desire to check my groin. It seemed like some checked it a bit too often. I assure you I am not making any claim to groin uniqueness. In fact, as groins go, it is rather unspectacular. So there were at least 4 doctors who checked my groin as well as four nurses. I got concerned when my groin was also checked by a guy with "Maintainance" on his shirt pocket, the lady from the gift shop in the lobby, and the wife of the guy in the next bed. One guy was waiting for a bus and killed some time by coming up to check my groin. The final straw was when a doctor arrived with candles, a nice bottle of wine, and a gypsy violinist. He wanted to check my groin but only if I checked his too.
Well, I am happy to say, a couple of hours ago I checked my own groin. (Bless me Father, for I have sinned.) It was fine. Except for some new life-sustaining (or quality of life destroying) meds, I am back at the computer with just a blip in my continuing ennui.
Hope everyone is doing well and....
The beds aren't comfortable and it is difficult to sleep on your back when you are used to sleeping on your side. You are connected to all sorts of machines and regularly prodded and poked. Dracula's minions stop by all through the night to get him a snack and because my test involved an incision in the upper leg there was an unnatural interest in my groin. Every nurse and doctor who came in the room was overcome with an immediate desire to check my groin. It seemed like some checked it a bit too often. I assure you I am not making any claim to groin uniqueness. In fact, as groins go, it is rather unspectacular. So there were at least 4 doctors who checked my groin as well as four nurses. I got concerned when my groin was also checked by a guy with "Maintainance" on his shirt pocket, the lady from the gift shop in the lobby, and the wife of the guy in the next bed. One guy was waiting for a bus and killed some time by coming up to check my groin. The final straw was when a doctor arrived with candles, a nice bottle of wine, and a gypsy violinist. He wanted to check my groin but only if I checked his too.
Well, I am happy to say, a couple of hours ago I checked my own groin. (Bless me Father, for I have sinned.) It was fine. Except for some new life-sustaining (or quality of life destroying) meds, I am back at the computer with just a blip in my continuing ennui.
Hope everyone is doing well and....
"....think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye."Rob
OK! I Am Back
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2008-May-14 • 07:34
No explanation. Just accept my lame excuses (implied) and we'll get on with it. At least I have been diligent in providing new fodder to the readers of My Story. At times I am so overwhelmed by the sheer brass I exhibit; writing about my career as if it amounted to something. Consider yourselves bystanders. I enjoy writing it and if, like someone overhearing a private conversation, you enjoy reading it then there has been some nice reach-around and life is good.
Why do people order Chinese or Thai food and suddenly have the urge to eat with chopsticks? I don't understand that. I had a good friend who was from Taiwan. Watching him use chopsticks was almost a magical experience. He could pick up a single grain of rice as easily as I can dip a French fry in ketchup. I was watching someone in the food court at the Mall eating their Panda Express with chopsticks and HIS dexterity made me hope he had a lot of time for lunch. Use a fork! Chopsticks are great for people born to them, but the western world has invented some better utensils. Spoons being the best. Forks being very good. Knives don't count because they were original invented for killed...not eating. For some guy to sit in the Mall eating Chinese fast-food with chopsticks is ridiculous. After he leaves the Mall he can stop at his rice paddy and take a crap. Then hop in a rick-shaw and hurry home to bind his daughter's feet.
Well....I am glad I am back but not so happy about my cantankerous and judgemental mood.
Robbie
Why do people order Chinese or Thai food and suddenly have the urge to eat with chopsticks? I don't understand that. I had a good friend who was from Taiwan. Watching him use chopsticks was almost a magical experience. He could pick up a single grain of rice as easily as I can dip a French fry in ketchup. I was watching someone in the food court at the Mall eating their Panda Express with chopsticks and HIS dexterity made me hope he had a lot of time for lunch. Use a fork! Chopsticks are great for people born to them, but the western world has invented some better utensils. Spoons being the best. Forks being very good. Knives don't count because they were original invented for killed...not eating. For some guy to sit in the Mall eating Chinese fast-food with chopsticks is ridiculous. After he leaves the Mall he can stop at his rice paddy and take a crap. Then hop in a rick-shaw and hurry home to bind his daughter's feet.
Well....I am glad I am back but not so happy about my cantankerous and judgemental mood.
Robbie
I Got The Finger
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2008-April-23 • 20:58
Years ago when I lived on McKnight Road on the Eastern border of St. Paul, there was a strip mall across the Freeway called Sunset or Sunrise or Sun-something. Once when attempting to pull into a parking space an old lady...I mean 80's at least...cut me off and when I tooted at her she flipped me the bird. When I told my older brother about that, we got a good laugh trying to imagine OUR grandmother (who emigrated from Sweden in 1892)giving someone the finger. This comes to mind because over the week-end, as I was pulling into a parking space at Cub Foods, I was purposefully cut off by some 20-something. My reflexes are very slow when it comes to beeping the car-horn, but I fumbled about and gave a rather anemic toot. Sometimes I am a very accomplished lip-reader and it wasn't difficult to figure out she said, "Shut the fuck up"...and in some sort of uncharacteristic lapse I flipped her off. I can just imagine her telling her friends that some grandfatherly guy gave her the finger at Cub.
This reminds me of when I would ride the city bus and laugh at the weird looking people as they climbed on. I, then, was doubly chagrined when I noticed kids laughing among themselves when I got on a bus.
btw...today the temp was well into the 70's and tonight I plan to sleep with an open window. What a wonderful world we live in.
It's been a good couple of days and tomorrow I think I shall veg....I'm getting very good at doing that.
Rob
This reminds me of when I would ride the city bus and laugh at the weird looking people as they climbed on. I, then, was doubly chagrined when I noticed kids laughing among themselves when I got on a bus.
btw...today the temp was well into the 70's and tonight I plan to sleep with an open window. What a wonderful world we live in.
It's been a good couple of days and tomorrow I think I shall veg....I'm getting very good at doing that.
Rob
As Promised
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Sunday, 2008-April-13 • 18:45
Finally, April Blog content! I told you....and you doubted me...that I would post at least two chapters before April 15th. I did! If you meander over to My Story, you'll see Chapter 18 and Chapter 19. They are both around 9-10 pages long so there is lot of reading to do. Perhaps, since the period I'm writing about is an out-of-radio time, it may be a little too personal for those who just want the broadcasting skinny. Sorry. This is really the only time I'll ever be able to put this crap down on paper (electronically or whatever) and long after I'm gone will remain as a little reminder to my family and anyone else who cares.
I have to catch up on some replies to emails outstanding. All at the top of my list of things to do. This week I also need to buy some Comet Cleanser. I have become absolutely obsessed with having a clean bathroom. There is a TV show on BBC-America where these two women clean homes in Great Britain that are beyond just messy. These are the most filthy places I have ever seen. It is almost impossible to imagine a human being living in these conditions. I mentioned to my brother, that if the truth were known, there are people within a mile of where I sit right now with houses as dirty as any they show from England.
If you haven't seen this show, you have no idea how dirty these places are. Maggots, mouse droppings, dust, dirty, rotten food, insects, mold, and mounds of junk are the norm. The bathrooms...almost make me gag just to think of them. I understand that men sometimes have 'aiming' problems but those are weiner aiming problems. Some of these people have aiming problems from the other side. Women as well as men. One of these women refers to the 'ur-eine' stains and 'bottom throttle' remains. If the bathrooms are beyond belief, the bedrooms are.....well, I can't think of a word. How can one comfortable crawl into a bed that hasn't had a sheet change in a couple of years!!! Seriously!
Since watching this show, I swear, bathroom or not, you could eat off any surface in my bathroom without the merest qualm. Well, maybe not...but....I have been lately cleaning my bathroom daily! I even have a dedicated toothbrush for cracks and crevices. I bought mounds of silicone calking and have elminated many of those cracks and crevices, but the ones that remain are clean daily. Any splatter lasts hardly 24 hours. Not that one should associate me with splatter of any kind.
I have always considered myself an adequate housekeeper, but NOW....I was a philistine when it came to bathroom cleanliness. Not anymore. I daily go into the bathroom to shower, scrub, spray, roll-on, fluff, powder, and douche. I also clean up myself while I'm in there.
I hope you enjoy the latest offerings and I look forward to hearing from you. Take care.
Rob
I have to catch up on some replies to emails outstanding. All at the top of my list of things to do. This week I also need to buy some Comet Cleanser. I have become absolutely obsessed with having a clean bathroom. There is a TV show on BBC-America where these two women clean homes in Great Britain that are beyond just messy. These are the most filthy places I have ever seen. It is almost impossible to imagine a human being living in these conditions. I mentioned to my brother, that if the truth were known, there are people within a mile of where I sit right now with houses as dirty as any they show from England.
If you haven't seen this show, you have no idea how dirty these places are. Maggots, mouse droppings, dust, dirty, rotten food, insects, mold, and mounds of junk are the norm. The bathrooms...almost make me gag just to think of them. I understand that men sometimes have 'aiming' problems but those are weiner aiming problems. Some of these people have aiming problems from the other side. Women as well as men. One of these women refers to the 'ur-eine' stains and 'bottom throttle' remains. If the bathrooms are beyond belief, the bedrooms are.....well, I can't think of a word. How can one comfortable crawl into a bed that hasn't had a sheet change in a couple of years!!! Seriously!
Since watching this show, I swear, bathroom or not, you could eat off any surface in my bathroom without the merest qualm. Well, maybe not...but....I have been lately cleaning my bathroom daily! I even have a dedicated toothbrush for cracks and crevices. I bought mounds of silicone calking and have elminated many of those cracks and crevices, but the ones that remain are clean daily. Any splatter lasts hardly 24 hours. Not that one should associate me with splatter of any kind.
I have always considered myself an adequate housekeeper, but NOW....I was a philistine when it came to bathroom cleanliness. Not anymore. I daily go into the bathroom to shower, scrub, spray, roll-on, fluff, powder, and douche. I also clean up myself while I'm in there.
I hope you enjoy the latest offerings and I look forward to hearing from you. Take care.
"...I am the demon cleaner who saves the day...."
Rob
Sorry and Sick!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-March-27 • 14:07
I just haven't felt up to spending time in front of this computer and I hope that explains that lack of attention in the past couple of weeks. I have been ill, but as I told my brother, earlier this week I was 80% ill and today I am 68% ill. So I am getting better. Main problem is that sitting here in an up-right position makes me dizzy. Of course, dizzy is my usual state. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I don't know if you've checked out the website but the chapters in My Story have been consolidated and the chapter navigation is much much improved. Now I must, as promised provide you with a wrap-up of my career in Minnesota and the move to the land of the fruits and nuts. Before April 15th.
Hope your Easter was nice. Mine wasn't.
Rob
I don't know if you've checked out the website but the chapters in My Story have been consolidated and the chapter navigation is much much improved. Now I must, as promised provide you with a wrap-up of my career in Minnesota and the move to the land of the fruits and nuts. Before April 15th.
Hope your Easter was nice. Mine wasn't.
Rob
Weekends
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Sunday, 2008-March-16 • 20:02
Since I don't work, I don't get excited about week-ends. This year, though, the HD live broadcasts of the Metropolitan Opera have given me something to look forward to on Saturday afternoons. Peter Grimes was the opera this past Saturday so I joined the cotton-tops and enjoyed myself thoroughly. (The title character is driven to madness by rumor and accusations so it isn't a happy subject) I have no explanation why I love this music. It gives me a reason to consider the weekend, special.
Hope you all had a good week-end whatever you planned. The changes on the website progressing and if you check out you'll notice the various threads are all contained now in one series of chapters...My Story. And My Story will continue with the period between July 1978 and December 1979 when I left radio the first time. I am writing it in dribs and drabs at the moment. I looked at my mail and there are a bunch of people I owe mail to and I am taking care of that tomorrow.
I was going to write some more but all of a sudden my head is heavy with weariness....so, to bed!
Rob
Hope you all had a good week-end whatever you planned. The changes on the website progressing and if you check out you'll notice the various threads are all contained now in one series of chapters...My Story. And My Story will continue with the period between July 1978 and December 1979 when I left radio the first time. I am writing it in dribs and drabs at the moment. I looked at my mail and there are a bunch of people I owe mail to and I am taking care of that tomorrow.
I was going to write some more but all of a sudden my head is heavy with weariness....so, to bed!
Rob
Idol Musings
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-March-13 • 13:42
I have made no secret that I am an American Idol fan. Not only do I watch it (without fail), but I chat about it, read the blogs, and follow the subsequent careers of losers. I am not surprised that one of my favorite forwarders, emailers, commenters, and bloggers has the opposite view. He mailed me:
have never liked that show...yes theres been a few good singers on it...and in the beginning of the shows run i did watch it to give it a chance and it was kind of fun to watch... but now it just getting ridiculous.... now thier going to get singers to do Beatle Songs.... this is one show along with many i will really be sure to miss..... that show reminds me of a bunch of karoke singers in a bar... and who are the judges to say what good talent is?!!!! Simon is a tv show producer nothing else.... another is in the record bussiness but ive never heard of him untill that show.. and the girl? she has not had a hit record since the mid 80s and they all sucked.... (my opinion..) to me the show is just another waste of time...if watching it i could be doing more constructive with my t.v. time.... which lately nothing has really grabbed my attention so i keep it off..... reality tv.... hummmmmm is there any reality on tv?.....
I so disagree with so much of what the wonderful Axman wrote. Don't confuse Simon COWELL with Simon FULLER. The latter one is the TV producer. Randy has worked with some of the biggest in the music business and I LOVE Paula. (She squeezed my knee!) But all that isn't the important thing. What attracts me to American Idol also attracts me to a whole slew of 'reality TV' shows. Hell's Kitchen, Top Chef, Last Restaurant Standing, Ramsay's Nightmares, as well as So You Think You Can Dance, Runway, and on and on.... These shows all have one thing in common. The contestants, almost without fail, have a dedication and passion for their 'thing' that makes me ashamed to have ever claimed a similar feeling. Here are people so obsessed by their own vision they sacrifice EVERYTHING for it. Those who don't make that sacrifice don't make the cut. In this world, talent doesn't grow roses. It helps. Add to the talent some dedication, encouragment, obsession and a bit of luck. There is the stew that awes me as I watch it unfold on TV.
Last spring I spent a couple of weeks in England with a friend and his family. I have known him for over 35 years. When he was 16 he went to school during the day and worked at a bakery beginning each morning at 3am. That ungodly job provided the money for ballet lessons his parents refused to pay for or support. What drove a 14 year old boy to know in the depth of his soul he HAD to dance ballet? Where does that come from?
I just thought of the guy on the Animal Planet show Escape From Chimp Eden who wanted to be a computer programmer but has now dedicated his life to saving abused chimps. Damn! I admire people who sacrifice for their dreams. Sorry Axman, I used you to climb on my soapbox. The last time I suffered such umbrage was when someone in 1975 wrote in a radio-industry trade-sheet that Disneyland WASN'T the Happiest Place On Earth and he was bored by the place.
Rob
PS: I once considered going to Calcutta to work with Mother Teresa but changed my mind when I found out she didn't have cable.
have never liked that show...yes theres been a few good singers on it...and in the beginning of the shows run i did watch it to give it a chance and it was kind of fun to watch... but now it just getting ridiculous.... now thier going to get singers to do Beatle Songs.... this is one show along with many i will really be sure to miss..... that show reminds me of a bunch of karoke singers in a bar... and who are the judges to say what good talent is?!!!! Simon is a tv show producer nothing else.... another is in the record bussiness but ive never heard of him untill that show.. and the girl? she has not had a hit record since the mid 80s and they all sucked.... (my opinion..) to me the show is just another waste of time...if watching it i could be doing more constructive with my t.v. time.... which lately nothing has really grabbed my attention so i keep it off..... reality tv.... hummmmmm is there any reality on tv?.....
I so disagree with so much of what the wonderful Axman wrote. Don't confuse Simon COWELL with Simon FULLER. The latter one is the TV producer. Randy has worked with some of the biggest in the music business and I LOVE Paula. (She squeezed my knee!) But all that isn't the important thing. What attracts me to American Idol also attracts me to a whole slew of 'reality TV' shows. Hell's Kitchen, Top Chef, Last Restaurant Standing, Ramsay's Nightmares, as well as So You Think You Can Dance, Runway, and on and on.... These shows all have one thing in common. The contestants, almost without fail, have a dedication and passion for their 'thing' that makes me ashamed to have ever claimed a similar feeling. Here are people so obsessed by their own vision they sacrifice EVERYTHING for it. Those who don't make that sacrifice don't make the cut. In this world, talent doesn't grow roses. It helps. Add to the talent some dedication, encouragment, obsession and a bit of luck. There is the stew that awes me as I watch it unfold on TV.
Last spring I spent a couple of weeks in England with a friend and his family. I have known him for over 35 years. When he was 16 he went to school during the day and worked at a bakery beginning each morning at 3am. That ungodly job provided the money for ballet lessons his parents refused to pay for or support. What drove a 14 year old boy to know in the depth of his soul he HAD to dance ballet? Where does that come from?
I just thought of the guy on the Animal Planet show Escape From Chimp Eden who wanted to be a computer programmer but has now dedicated his life to saving abused chimps. Damn! I admire people who sacrifice for their dreams. Sorry Axman, I used you to climb on my soapbox. The last time I suffered such umbrage was when someone in 1975 wrote in a radio-industry trade-sheet that Disneyland WASN'T the Happiest Place On Earth and he was bored by the place.
Rob
PS: I once considered going to Calcutta to work with Mother Teresa but changed my mind when I found out she didn't have cable.
Chinese Food and Nasty Jokes
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2008-March-05 • 22:36
I met my brother for Chinese buffet this afternoon and now it's late and the MSG is keeping me at this infernal machine. I got to the place early to give me a chance to eat some salad before he arrived. Otherwise, I'm eating salad and he's diving in to fried rice and our buffet procedure is out of whack. Anyway, while I'm sitting there one of the guys in the next booth decided to blow his nose just as I was digging into some egg foo yung. It was a quick sniff blow but a prolonged evacuation of all this sinuses as well as the sinuses of half the restaurant. It sounded like the opening scene of the witches in Macbeth. The contents of his nose bubbled and roiled. It was Mount St. Helena just before the big blow. It sounded like a huge pot of oatmeal. It put me off my moo goo gai pan.What is wrong with some people?
I couldn't help thinking of the joke I heard when I was about 8 years old. It involved a barrel with a dead Chinese guy and a soda straw in each nose poking through a hole in the top. I don't remember the joke but it was disgusting.
Speaking of jokes, I am putting a link here to one of the most disgusting and perverted jokes you will ever hear. If you ever want to be the same again you won't listen to it because it is rank beyond perverted belief. I should tell you that when I was watching it the first time, I was laughing so hard I had to pause because I was losing my breath and was seriously afraid I would have a stroke...or at the least black out, collapse and do a William Holden. You have been warned. I am serious. It is horrible and just thinking about it makes me want to shower. If you are a parent and ever want to look your children in the eye again, don't follow the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg&feature=related
American Idol is very good this year and a couple of the songs the guys sang on Tuesday were beyond belief. So good. Vantage Point is a good movie. The Metropolitan Opera rocks. Winter sucks.
Rob
I couldn't help thinking of the joke I heard when I was about 8 years old. It involved a barrel with a dead Chinese guy and a soda straw in each nose poking through a hole in the top. I don't remember the joke but it was disgusting.
Speaking of jokes, I am putting a link here to one of the most disgusting and perverted jokes you will ever hear. If you ever want to be the same again you won't listen to it because it is rank beyond perverted belief. I should tell you that when I was watching it the first time, I was laughing so hard I had to pause because I was losing my breath and was seriously afraid I would have a stroke...or at the least black out, collapse and do a William Holden. You have been warned. I am serious. It is horrible and just thinking about it makes me want to shower. If you are a parent and ever want to look your children in the eye again, don't follow the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg&feature=related
American Idol is very good this year and a couple of the songs the guys sang on Tuesday were beyond belief. So good. Vantage Point is a good movie. The Metropolitan Opera rocks. Winter sucks.
Rob
Getting Busy!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Tuesday, 2008-March-04 • 22:08
A couple of weeks ago I was working on the next chapter for the web-site. I was concerned that I was repeating a story so I tried to check it out in previous chapters. That's when I realized the whole thing was a mess. Over the last 4 years I've followed so many different threads with so much time between writing, it got confused and repetitive. Not for long. In a few days all the chapters in My Story and The Twin Cities years will be re-posted with more cogency, a little more continuity, and a lot less repetition. Nothing is being removed and the story remains as was originally written. The grammar gets a little better, some of the typos are corrected and my frequent apologies for delays eliminated.
If anyone wants to keep any of the original musings, copy and paste now, because soon they go away.
After the re-posting you might like to re-read some to see what you missed in the previous mess. The Prologue plus Chapters 1-17 plus the new one coming soon will be My Story soon. And at long last the California years begin before April.
Thanks for sticking with me and now that THAT project is over I can get back to puerile blogging in this space.
Rob
If anyone wants to keep any of the original musings, copy and paste now, because soon they go away.
After the re-posting you might like to re-read some to see what you missed in the previous mess. The Prologue plus Chapters 1-17 plus the new one coming soon will be My Story soon. And at long last the California years begin before April.
Thanks for sticking with me and now that THAT project is over I can get back to puerile blogging in this space.
Rob
Breaking Records!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Saturday, 2008-February-23 • 11:43
It will probably be weeks before anyone finds this blog. After weeks of checking and finding nothing, the few who are regularly with me get out of the habit and I will whistle in the wind for a while.
January was a record breaking month with 11 blogs and February is the current record holder with only one. This one. Notice though, that last November was scant also. When I travel my contact with the computer gets compromised by other pursuits.
Actually, I have lots to talk about....many things to rant about....and much catch up to accomplish. At the moment though, I shall bask in the beautiful weather (in the 20's!) and go see a movie. If I am really feeling wild and craaazeee I'll stop at WalMart and browse the cheap DVD bin.
Time to get busy, right?
Rob
January was a record breaking month with 11 blogs and February is the current record holder with only one. This one. Notice though, that last November was scant also. When I travel my contact with the computer gets compromised by other pursuits.
Actually, I have lots to talk about....many things to rant about....and much catch up to accomplish. At the moment though, I shall bask in the beautiful weather (in the 20's!) and go see a movie. If I am really feeling wild and craaazeee I'll stop at WalMart and browse the cheap DVD bin.
Time to get busy, right?
Rob
A Record Month!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-January-31 • 18:38
On this last day of January, I HAD to do some blogging. The monthly blog record was already broken, but an extra bit of frosting on the cake won't hurt.
Many people in the Minnesota part of the country will tell you their favorite season is Fall. There is much to like. Brisk temperatures, crystal clear shocking-blue skies, and that lovliest of events...the Indian Summer. But think about this. In the Autumn there is nothing to look forward to but WINTER! However, on those bitter cold winter days, with nothing to recommend them, you know that soon it will be SPRING!
"Oh. Wind. If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" Some nineteenth century poet nailed it with that one.
I didn't get a January My Story episode completed but I'll finish it soon and nag and carp until it gets posted. "A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". Now THAT is Shakespeare! Way to go Willie.
BTW, I am a man of many pantronymics and Sherwood is just one of them. More people know me by that name and call me Rob, than any of the others. I am no longer in radio but you can still call me Rob. I have many names. For years the alumni of U100 called me Buns. A few diehards used Wonder Buns. While working at FM104 with Gary DeMaroney he called me Buns. Somewhere in Utah, on a Greyhound bus, some smart-ass teenagers started calling me Scrappy. There are a bunch in SF who still use that name. The name Buff was always problematic so I often used the name Michael. I have friends in Taiwan who call me by that name and even another in LA who uses Mike. I like nicknames.
I am back in Northern Minnesota for the Super Bowl. Funny, because they're holding it in Arizona! I went to some fabulous Super Bowl parties in San Francisco, but none are so much fun as spending it with my slightly retarded brothers. Besides, San Francisco is just losing its panache. Most of the time it is just another big-dirty-fucked up city with hills. At least it isn't boring. In Duluth I get a thrill going to the food-court at the Mall or eating lunch at Old Country Buffet. In San Francisco I went to a porno store and the customers were freaking because they no longer carry the whopper. I guess it is what you are in the mood for.
Enjoy the Super Bowls...I personally would like to see an upset. See you in February....
Rob
Many people in the Minnesota part of the country will tell you their favorite season is Fall. There is much to like. Brisk temperatures, crystal clear shocking-blue skies, and that lovliest of events...the Indian Summer. But think about this. In the Autumn there is nothing to look forward to but WINTER! However, on those bitter cold winter days, with nothing to recommend them, you know that soon it will be SPRING!
"Oh. Wind. If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" Some nineteenth century poet nailed it with that one.
I didn't get a January My Story episode completed but I'll finish it soon and nag and carp until it gets posted. "A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". Now THAT is Shakespeare! Way to go Willie.
BTW, I am a man of many pantronymics and Sherwood is just one of them. More people know me by that name and call me Rob, than any of the others. I am no longer in radio but you can still call me Rob. I have many names. For years the alumni of U100 called me Buns. A few diehards used Wonder Buns. While working at FM104 with Gary DeMaroney he called me Buns. Somewhere in Utah, on a Greyhound bus, some smart-ass teenagers started calling me Scrappy. There are a bunch in SF who still use that name. The name Buff was always problematic so I often used the name Michael. I have friends in Taiwan who call me by that name and even another in LA who uses Mike. I like nicknames.
I am back in Northern Minnesota for the Super Bowl. Funny, because they're holding it in Arizona! I went to some fabulous Super Bowl parties in San Francisco, but none are so much fun as spending it with my slightly retarded brothers. Besides, San Francisco is just losing its panache. Most of the time it is just another big-dirty-fucked up city with hills. At least it isn't boring. In Duluth I get a thrill going to the food-court at the Mall or eating lunch at Old Country Buffet. In San Francisco I went to a porno store and the customers were freaking because they no longer carry the whopper. I guess it is what you are in the mood for.
Enjoy the Super Bowls...I personally would like to see an upset. See you in February....
Rob
Cold Hearted
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2008-January-23 • 22:39
You know we are getting closer to the Central Valley of California in the Never Ending Story because the Modesto-ites, or Modestinians, Modestopods, or what-ever are become roused by the boredom of the almost 20 years of prologue. There are a couple of regulars who prod me forward in anticipation and a newbie who just wrote the other day. (Heidi....I loved your email and meant to reply but must have oops!'d it. Write again.)
I will write a bunch about the Morning Show Live Studio Audience 8-9 years down the line (in the story). Heidi reminded me of the Morning Show connection to Paula Abdul. She once squeezed my knee, but that is another story. (I needed the money) For some reason, in 1990 or so, we started doing some in-studio things to entertain the Live Audience. For some other reason, this included a lame Chippendale dance to Cold Hearted. Under my clothes, I would be prepared with a pair of red, white and black spandex bike shorts. These would be revealed during a promptu strip-tease. (We planned it so it couldn't be impromptu. Right?)
Eventually, the music and dance were done only in-studio, while something else was actually on-the-air. Heidi says she has a video. That got me wondering how many other people have videos and/or pictures. I remember a lot of photographing going on. Imagine years from now when someone looks at a picture of this guy with scraggly-blonde hair, a flowing silk shirt and red, white and black speedos dancing his ass off in a broadcast studio. (Lots of changes in the old Rob in California)There will be a few 'wtf's' right before the picture is consigned to the trash.
These were a few of my happiest years and now I can't wait to get to that part of My Story.
So there I was, sitting at a bar at a restaurant in San Francisco when Paul Abdul squeezed my knee and said, "Rob, you are so funny!" Now I watch her on American Idol and wonder if I still want her to squeeze my knee and if I am still "so funny".
Rob
Eventually, the music and dance were done only in-studio, while something else was actually on-the-air. Heidi says she has a video. That got me wondering how many other people have videos and/or pictures. I remember a lot of photographing going on. Imagine years from now when someone looks at a picture of this guy with scraggly-blonde hair, a flowing silk shirt and red, white and black speedos dancing his ass off in a broadcast studio. (Lots of changes in the old Rob in California)There will be a few 'wtf's' right before the picture is consigned to the trash.
These were a few of my happiest years and now I can't wait to get to that part of My Story.
So there I was, sitting at a bar at a restaurant in San Francisco when Paul Abdul squeezed my knee and said, "Rob, you are so funny!" Now I watch her on American Idol and wonder if I still want her to squeeze my knee and if I am still "so funny".
Rob
Jump Me
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Monday, 2008-January-21 • 11:01
My brother is on his way with his jump machine. The cold was too much for the land-boat I drive here and rather than grind the battery down to click-click-click, I just said, "f-it" and returned to the TV and the Giant's glorious victory over the legions of evil.
The Packers haven't always been at the bottom of my hit-parade or the top of my shit list. After all, I worked in Green Bay and watched the games every week-end. I actually knew Bart Starr and saw the other greats of that era regularly about town. There is always a soft spot in my heart for the hapless Vikings, always the bridesmaid and never the bride. Or an even better one: jilted at the altar....FOUR TIMES! Still, as I moved about the country I adopted the local team so I will admit I was a Seattle Seahawks fan, a super 49'ers fan (almost obsessed on that one) and shamefully, at one time I rooted for the Pack. It was easy though because at least in one case they played Dallas and that team spends the off-season on one of the lower rings of Hell.
If the Pack had won, I would be a Patriots fan. Now I can go with the underdawg and hope for the upset. Either way, the chicken wings will be spicy and the chips full of dip.
That cold in Green Bay you saw on TV, I remember well. In late December of 1966, my Pontiac Catalina convertible decided it would rather fight than run and I was forced to walk to work. About a mile. It wasn't the first time because there wasn't any convenient parking next to the radio station building in the downtown. Not only did I walk to work but I frequently RAN home. Now it was winter, the car wasn't cooperating and I bundled up like Roger Staubuck and got to work. For the next 2 1/2 months. When I finally decided it was time to get the car going, it started without too much problem but the wheels were frozen to the ground. I had to get warm water and splash about before I could move them.
Maybe I'll just walk where I have to go and run back. And maybe I'll plan for a cardiac infarction later this afternoon. Something to break the ennui.
Rob
The Packers haven't always been at the bottom of my hit-parade or the top of my shit list. After all, I worked in Green Bay and watched the games every week-end. I actually knew Bart Starr and saw the other greats of that era regularly about town. There is always a soft spot in my heart for the hapless Vikings, always the bridesmaid and never the bride. Or an even better one: jilted at the altar....FOUR TIMES! Still, as I moved about the country I adopted the local team so I will admit I was a Seattle Seahawks fan, a super 49'ers fan (almost obsessed on that one) and shamefully, at one time I rooted for the Pack. It was easy though because at least in one case they played Dallas and that team spends the off-season on one of the lower rings of Hell.
If the Pack had won, I would be a Patriots fan. Now I can go with the underdawg and hope for the upset. Either way, the chicken wings will be spicy and the chips full of dip.
That cold in Green Bay you saw on TV, I remember well. In late December of 1966, my Pontiac Catalina convertible decided it would rather fight than run and I was forced to walk to work. About a mile. It wasn't the first time because there wasn't any convenient parking next to the radio station building in the downtown. Not only did I walk to work but I frequently RAN home. Now it was winter, the car wasn't cooperating and I bundled up like Roger Staubuck and got to work. For the next 2 1/2 months. When I finally decided it was time to get the car going, it started without too much problem but the wheels were frozen to the ground. I had to get warm water and splash about before I could move them.
Maybe I'll just walk where I have to go and run back. And maybe I'll plan for a cardiac infarction later this afternoon. Something to break the ennui.
Rob
Global Warming
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Saturday, 2008-January-19 • 21:18
It was too cold today to do anything.
Compromise!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2008-January-18 • 21:12
This afternoon I went to see Sweeny Todd. Just an aside...when I saw Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman I was whacked that they sang as well as they did. Hugh Jackman can really sing...saw his Oklahoma. Time and again I am surprised at how well screen actors can sing. Well, Lloyd Bentson knew John Kennedy. John Kennedy was Lloyd Bentson's friend and Johnny Depp is no John Kennedy. Neither is he Sweeny Todd. That wasn't the only mis-cast. Mrs. Lovett was poorly cast. The rest had some interesting casting takes but overall, I was once again disappointed by a movie musical. It was close, but no cigar!
When I started this weBLOG I didn't plan on a movie review. I planned to write about compromise. I like to sit close. At the movies, I want to be enveloped in the experience and am most happy when I am so close I must rotate my head in tennis-match-audience-fashion when there is a face to face conversation on screen. I don't understand sitting so far back the screen so distant it looks like a 32" television. Most people prefer to sit in the middle, I guess. I have never been much of an 'in-the-middle' sort of guy. So the subject of compromise. If I go to the movie with someone who isn't retarded (seems a lot of retarded people sit close) they wish to sit towards the back. I wish to sit towards the front. If they sit close (with me) they don't enjoy the movie. If I sit farther back (with them) I don't enjoy the movie. If we compromise and sit in the movie neither of us is satisfied.
Ergo! Compromise sucks. I noticed a lot of date people tonight and maybe they so in love that making the other happy is all the satisfaction they need. AAAAHHH! GAAAAGGGG!
I am composing my ad for Craig's List. "Wanted. Someone who will always do it my way."
Something tells me I'll be going to a lot of movies alone. I don't like butter (oil) on my popcorn. The other one does. ....this could go on and on.
Rob
When I started this weBLOG I didn't plan on a movie review. I planned to write about compromise. I like to sit close. At the movies, I want to be enveloped in the experience and am most happy when I am so close I must rotate my head in tennis-match-audience-fashion when there is a face to face conversation on screen. I don't understand sitting so far back the screen so distant it looks like a 32" television. Most people prefer to sit in the middle, I guess. I have never been much of an 'in-the-middle' sort of guy. So the subject of compromise. If I go to the movie with someone who isn't retarded (seems a lot of retarded people sit close) they wish to sit towards the back. I wish to sit towards the front. If they sit close (with me) they don't enjoy the movie. If I sit farther back (with them) I don't enjoy the movie. If we compromise and sit in the movie neither of us is satisfied.
Ergo! Compromise sucks. I noticed a lot of date people tonight and maybe they so in love that making the other happy is all the satisfaction they need. AAAAHHH! GAAAAGGGG!
I am composing my ad for Craig's List. "Wanted. Someone who will always do it my way."
Something tells me I'll be going to a lot of movies alone. I don't like butter (oil) on my popcorn. The other one does. ....this could go on and on.
Rob
Stick it In Your Ear
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2008-January-11 • 22:02
I was watching an interview of Fred Thompson by Sean Hannity in some radio studio in South Carolina. My eye immediately zeroed in on the earphones Hannity was wearing. When the camera panned to Fred Thompson, I was struck by the pristine perfection of the borrowed earphones he had on. I presume that talk stations of today have many sets of house phones. At any station I worked, each DJ had their own. One's earphones were like one's toothbrush. For me, a good pair of phones were like a sweater you love and don't want to toss. It didn't take long for them to start looking like Jeb Clampet's car. Toward the end I used an old style of Koss that wasn't made anymore. Gary DeMaroney found a source and bought 2 or 3 pair. They languished in a box labeled "104" for 10 years or so.
Until 1968, I used the industry standard...Clevite's. Am I spelling it correctly? The technology of Clevites was the same as the early telephone. A magnet causing a disc of metal to vibrate...voila! The sound. There was virtually no bass-respone and the damage to my ear drums must have been devastating. What? At WDUZ I used a single ear Clevite. That was bizarre now that I think about it. It all boils down to comfort...like that seater I mentioned. WDGY was the first station I worked at that used a standard over-the-ear, buy-it-at-Radio Shack, earphone. For the first time in my career I actually heard how things actually sounded and it was magical. The sheer volume I ran those phones was ridiculous and after every four hour show, my ear would have a high-pitched squeal for 2-3 hours. What? Huh?
When I began the progression from Walkman to Discman to MP3 to IPod I used the little button things they come with, but at some point I chucked those for on-the-ear models and used those until, rummaging in a box labeled 104, I dug out my Koss. Old and held together with yards of electrician's tape, they sound great. It's kind of fun to connect the technology of the 70's with the technology of the new millenium. Now I have to figure out how to get a Beta machine to work in the car.
Opera tomorrow afternoon....I am soooooo keyed!
Rob
Until 1968, I used the industry standard...Clevite's. Am I spelling it correctly? The technology of Clevites was the same as the early telephone. A magnet causing a disc of metal to vibrate...voila! The sound. There was virtually no bass-respone and the damage to my ear drums must have been devastating. What? At WDUZ I used a single ear Clevite. That was bizarre now that I think about it. It all boils down to comfort...like that seater I mentioned. WDGY was the first station I worked at that used a standard over-the-ear, buy-it-at-Radio Shack, earphone. For the first time in my career I actually heard how things actually sounded and it was magical. The sheer volume I ran those phones was ridiculous and after every four hour show, my ear would have a high-pitched squeal for 2-3 hours. What? Huh?
When I began the progression from Walkman to Discman to MP3 to IPod I used the little button things they come with, but at some point I chucked those for on-the-ear models and used those until, rummaging in a box labeled 104, I dug out my Koss. Old and held together with yards of electrician's tape, they sound great. It's kind of fun to connect the technology of the 70's with the technology of the new millenium. Now I have to figure out how to get a Beta machine to work in the car.
Opera tomorrow afternoon....I am soooooo keyed!
Rob
Try To Be PC
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-January-10 • 08:43
On the morning show in the Central Valley we used to play the game..."Who would you do?"
Last night someone tried to start a 'who would you do' game around our coffee cups (I was actually drinking hot chocolate) and it was a total failure. No one wanted to even contemplate doing Hillary. Even the supposedly good-looking candidates didn't get any action. "Hey Mitt...is that a wrinkle in your holy underwear or are you happy to see me?"
To save the day, I asked if anyone would lick the door slop from the local WalMart for $1,000. No takers. We talk about anything except one topic. It is forbidden to discuss meds and/or the reasons we take them and the ensuing side-effects. That topic is reserved for the seniors in the food court at the mall.
After we had stumbled on sex with Mike Hucksterbee and Walmart slop soup, it seemed like this would not be a sparkling example of conversational repartee. Someone searched deep in this conversational void and came up with an old chestnut.
If you could be yourself (mentally, personality, memories) but look like any person in the world...and exact copy....who would it be. For some reason someone, without thinking a moment, said Johnny Depp. I had lunch with Johnny Depp back in the 80's and he is smaller than Dennis Kocinich. He is an elf. Unfortunately, I phrased my comment as, "He's a midget." A surprisingly good actor, rich as hell, admired by many, a true success, but still...a midget. Someone at the table commented that they prefer to be called 'little people'. From that point no matter who was named as a potential physical replacement, there were negative comments. Someone said Brad Pitt. It was pointed out he has a hygiene problem and stinks. Someone commented that they prefer to call it odorifically challenged and someone else said was it a coincidence that his last name was Pitt? Problems with other choices? Well, it soon became obvious that youth was more important than looks and that says a lot doesn't it.
I look forward to my hot chocolate later today and hope the Caribou conversation is more edifying. Hmm....what would happen at the mall food court if for four seconds everyone was nude and then back to normal. Would there be mass pandemonium? Would people be so shocked there would be mass amnesia? Would there be time to check out the hot ones? How many people would scream or would they just have a mass ...WTF? I can't wait to discuss this.
Rob
To save the day, I asked if anyone would lick the door slop from the local WalMart for $1,000. No takers. We talk about anything except one topic. It is forbidden to discuss meds and/or the reasons we take them and the ensuing side-effects. That topic is reserved for the seniors in the food court at the mall.
After we had stumbled on sex with Mike Hucksterbee and Walmart slop soup, it seemed like this would not be a sparkling example of conversational repartee. Someone searched deep in this conversational void and came up with an old chestnut.
If you could be yourself (mentally, personality, memories) but look like any person in the world...and exact copy....who would it be. For some reason someone, without thinking a moment, said Johnny Depp. I had lunch with Johnny Depp back in the 80's and he is smaller than Dennis Kocinich. He is an elf. Unfortunately, I phrased my comment as, "He's a midget." A surprisingly good actor, rich as hell, admired by many, a true success, but still...a midget. Someone at the table commented that they prefer to be called 'little people'. From that point no matter who was named as a potential physical replacement, there were negative comments. Someone said Brad Pitt. It was pointed out he has a hygiene problem and stinks. Someone commented that they prefer to call it odorifically challenged and someone else said was it a coincidence that his last name was Pitt? Problems with other choices? Well, it soon became obvious that youth was more important than looks and that says a lot doesn't it.
I look forward to my hot chocolate later today and hope the Caribou conversation is more edifying. Hmm....what would happen at the mall food court if for four seconds everyone was nude and then back to normal. Would there be mass pandemonium? Would people be so shocked there would be mass amnesia? Would there be time to check out the hot ones? How many people would scream or would they just have a mass ...WTF? I can't wait to discuss this.
Rob
His Ear Are Too Big
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2008-January-09 • 12:00
There are many reasons to vote for or against any candidate. Serious reasons. There are also trivial reasons to vote against some of them. (All of them) If I am going to be forced to watch one of them for four (eight) years, there is an esthetic dynamic.
Example from the past: As much as I liked Ronald Reagan and rever his memory, I HATED the way he would slightly pause in a sentence, wiggle his head, tilt it to one side, and then proceed. Some might find this engaging but to me it just was a persistant problem. Lyndon Johnson always looked like he needed to spit. (Am I showing my age?) Also, Lyndon Johnson had ear lobes that went beyond earlobes. We're talking your Zulu lobes here. I am not even sure if Zulus have big earlobes, but you get the picture. Bush the first was just fine for me but his son DOES have an unfortunate "What? Me worry?" likeness. Clinton is a mouth breather. His mouth is ALWAYS open.
Obama's ears are too big. If he is elected president any good comedian will be able to hold a couple of saucers next to their head and talk like Martin Luther King and everyone will know it's Barry. Dennis Kocinich doesn't look clean and also looks like he has dandruff. I don't know if either is true, but we're not talking fact here. Now Hillary. She should try to look more like Queen Elizabeth. If she looked like the Queen, I would vote for her. The Queen is not a beautiful woman but because she knows it and doesn't care she actually becomes beautiful. That whole attitude of: I look just fine because after all....I AM THE QUEEN! Hillary should dump the attempt to look good and start waving at people by holding up her hand and rotating it slowly. Eva Braun wasn't a bad looking woman but it didn't matter because who was ever going to tell Adolph, "Hey..your girlfriend is a dog..."
On the Republican side....what the hell is wrong with Rudy Guilliani. How about that forhead? He looks sneaky and the smile would freeze a lake. And all this talk about girlfriends makes me wonder about secret things and I don't like to think about Rudy's privates. Thompson's lips are too thick. Mitt Romney looks like someone who wouldn't like me. I just want to yell at him...Show me your holy underwear! And that name Mitt! He should change it to Matt. If anyone asks why he would say...I was asked to by Queen Elizabeth and what could I do? She's the Queen! Speaking of names. Huckabee!!!! No one named Huckabee will ever be President. Not until we have a black president, woman president, Muslim president, gay president, (this could also be considered a Queen president. Besides the Queen can't run unless they change the constitution and Arnold would be first in line and by then QEII would be toast. Wait a minute. Queen Latifa could run!)could anyone named Huckabee be president. He should change his name too. He should change it to...Matt. Matt Huckabee. Nope! Still won't win. Plus Matt Huckabee thinks I should never eat pizza again for the rest of my life.
John McCain is fatherly, presidential, and has a wonderfully patriotic past. He doesn't like the Bushes and that sort of bothers me because I do. Mainly though, he has a bump on one jaw that makes his cheeks asymetrical. Could I look at that bump for 8 years? Wait a minute. Will he last 8 years? Will I last 8 years?
So what am I to do?
Rob
Example from the past: As much as I liked Ronald Reagan and rever his memory, I HATED the way he would slightly pause in a sentence, wiggle his head, tilt it to one side, and then proceed. Some might find this engaging but to me it just was a persistant problem. Lyndon Johnson always looked like he needed to spit. (Am I showing my age?) Also, Lyndon Johnson had ear lobes that went beyond earlobes. We're talking your Zulu lobes here. I am not even sure if Zulus have big earlobes, but you get the picture. Bush the first was just fine for me but his son DOES have an unfortunate "What? Me worry?" likeness. Clinton is a mouth breather. His mouth is ALWAYS open.
Obama's ears are too big. If he is elected president any good comedian will be able to hold a couple of saucers next to their head and talk like Martin Luther King and everyone will know it's Barry. Dennis Kocinich doesn't look clean and also looks like he has dandruff. I don't know if either is true, but we're not talking fact here. Now Hillary. She should try to look more like Queen Elizabeth. If she looked like the Queen, I would vote for her. The Queen is not a beautiful woman but because she knows it and doesn't care she actually becomes beautiful. That whole attitude of: I look just fine because after all....I AM THE QUEEN! Hillary should dump the attempt to look good and start waving at people by holding up her hand and rotating it slowly. Eva Braun wasn't a bad looking woman but it didn't matter because who was ever going to tell Adolph, "Hey..your girlfriend is a dog..."
On the Republican side....what the hell is wrong with Rudy Guilliani. How about that forhead? He looks sneaky and the smile would freeze a lake. And all this talk about girlfriends makes me wonder about secret things and I don't like to think about Rudy's privates. Thompson's lips are too thick. Mitt Romney looks like someone who wouldn't like me. I just want to yell at him...Show me your holy underwear! And that name Mitt! He should change it to Matt. If anyone asks why he would say...I was asked to by Queen Elizabeth and what could I do? She's the Queen! Speaking of names. Huckabee!!!! No one named Huckabee will ever be President. Not until we have a black president, woman president, Muslim president, gay president, (this could also be considered a Queen president. Besides the Queen can't run unless they change the constitution and Arnold would be first in line and by then QEII would be toast. Wait a minute. Queen Latifa could run!)could anyone named Huckabee be president. He should change his name too. He should change it to...Matt. Matt Huckabee. Nope! Still won't win. Plus Matt Huckabee thinks I should never eat pizza again for the rest of my life.
John McCain is fatherly, presidential, and has a wonderfully patriotic past. He doesn't like the Bushes and that sort of bothers me because I do. Mainly though, he has a bump on one jaw that makes his cheeks asymetrical. Could I look at that bump for 8 years? Wait a minute. Will he last 8 years? Will I last 8 years?
So what am I to do?
Rob
Way Too Warm
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Sunday, 2008-January-06 • 21:18
When I first moved to San Francisco, I lived at 33 Hemway Terrace. Like so many buildings in SF, the bottom floor was garage, the second floor, an apartment and another on the third floor with both entrances from that same second-floor landing. The people on the top floor were from Viet Nam and unused to the San Francisco damp and cold. That explained why they kept the temperature in the 80s in their place. The problem was that their heat hot-air duct work passed through my walls and because of it I didn't ever have to turn on my heat and often slept with open windows in the dead of what passes for winter in that part of northern California.
This came to mind because we are experiencing a weekend heat wave and the old ladies in this building keep their heat high and in the enveloping cacooon of their apartments, I swelter. For the second night in a row I'll sleep with the window ajar...in the middle of January! I hope the weather turns cold so I can sleep cozy again
The movie I ended up seeing on Friday was "One Missed Call" and Warner Brothers owes me $10. It may not be the worse movie I have seen but it was horrible. The only thing I missed was having someone along to discuss it over a Moons Over Mihami at Denny's. Aside from the basic terribleness there were so many plot problems you just have to resort to that old standby: "What were they thinking?"
Now the new week begins. I am taking a couple of mini-vacations in the next month and will try to send a postcard.
Rob
This came to mind because we are experiencing a weekend heat wave and the old ladies in this building keep their heat high and in the enveloping cacooon of their apartments, I swelter. For the second night in a row I'll sleep with the window ajar...in the middle of January! I hope the weather turns cold so I can sleep cozy again
The movie I ended up seeing on Friday was "One Missed Call" and Warner Brothers owes me $10. It may not be the worse movie I have seen but it was horrible. The only thing I missed was having someone along to discuss it over a Moons Over Mihami at Denny's. Aside from the basic terribleness there were so many plot problems you just have to resort to that old standby: "What were they thinking?"
Now the new week begins. I am taking a couple of mini-vacations in the next month and will try to send a postcard.
Rob
Murdering Time
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2008-January-04 • 11:03
The movie starts in 52 minutes and since I'm only 10 minutes from the theater, I have time to spew. I noticed a slow leak in one of my rear tires, so if I go to the car and a tire is flat, the movie is cancelled, I'll let the snow bury the car and worry about the tire in the spring.
Am I the only political junky who stayed up watching the Iowa crap until Fox began repeating itself? A simple conclusion is obvious...half the people I know could qualify as talking heads. Let's call them um-heads. For some reason I don't remember the great TV talking heads of the past saying, "um". That Mort Kondracke (sic) is the worse. He ums and ahs and hems and haws to the point he is almost impossible to watch.
Not that I would ever have a career in talkingheadism. When Hitlery...er, Hillery...came out to spin her alibi, I wondered (to a friend on the phone) whether it would be big news if Hillary just climbed on the lectern, pulled down her pant-suit and showed the camera her...well, privates. And then Hillary said..."Madeline Albright! Climb up here and show yours too." It is because of fantasies like that that I will never be on Fox.
Quite honestly, I am not very pleased with candidates on either side. The one I liked, George Allen, got Mukaka'd a couple of years ago and he became toast. BTW...what is wrong with Chris Dodd and Biden and Richardson and all those also rans...never rans? They must have the ego-hide of a rhino because I would cry myself to sleep every night.
I'm off to the movie. Popcorn is in my future.
Rob
PS: In my fantasy, Madeline didn't show it. She's too much of a lady and she is still smarting about the snide remarks Kim Jong IL made when she showed it to him. Bill thought about doing it but he hates the public to know that Hillary has bigger balls.
Am I the only political junky who stayed up watching the Iowa crap until Fox began repeating itself? A simple conclusion is obvious...half the people I know could qualify as talking heads. Let's call them um-heads. For some reason I don't remember the great TV talking heads of the past saying, "um". That Mort Kondracke (sic) is the worse. He ums and ahs and hems and haws to the point he is almost impossible to watch.
Not that I would ever have a career in talkingheadism. When Hitlery...er, Hillery...came out to spin her alibi, I wondered (to a friend on the phone) whether it would be big news if Hillary just climbed on the lectern, pulled down her pant-suit and showed the camera her...well, privates. And then Hillary said..."Madeline Albright! Climb up here and show yours too." It is because of fantasies like that that I will never be on Fox.
Quite honestly, I am not very pleased with candidates on either side. The one I liked, George Allen, got Mukaka'd a couple of years ago and he became toast. BTW...what is wrong with Chris Dodd and Biden and Richardson and all those also rans...never rans? They must have the ego-hide of a rhino because I would cry myself to sleep every night.
I'm off to the movie. Popcorn is in my future.
Rob
PS: In my fantasy, Madeline didn't show it. She's too much of a lady and she is still smarting about the snide remarks Kim Jong IL made when she showed it to him. Bill thought about doing it but he hates the public to know that Hillary has bigger balls.
2008!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-January-03 • 12:01
So far this has been a great year! TV shows I like to watch, movies I want to see, places I want to go. What could be better? Did you watch the return of the various late-nite talk shows? I never watch Letterman because I find him smarmy and irritating but I did last night. Admitting my starting bias, I thought Jay Leno was totally funny and Dave Letterman should FIRE his writers.
Some people cannot go to a movie by themselves. I suppose there is some sort of loser-feeling. "I am such a loser, I can't even find anyone to go to a movie with me." Most of the time, I would rather movie alone than with someone. Especially if I suggested the movie but I am not paying. Instead of the sheer enjoyment of watching images on the silver screen, in the dark, with popcorn at hand, I obsess on the worry that my movie-mate will not enjoy the movie. And that lack of enjoyment is my fault. Yesterday I planned to go to a movie. I actually awoke KEYED for a movie. About an hour before showtime, an acquaintance called and mentioned they were going to a movie and I should come with them. "...er.....I....well....I would just LOVE to....but...er...." The excuses continued and I changed my plans. The movie was out. For me it was like....to come up with an analogy you can understand... (I just wrote an extremely sexual one involving Carmen Diaz but deleted it in favor of...) You are planning to eat at the old Cafe DiNapoli but when you get there they serve you Franco American from a can. That's lame but I am trying not to be naughty.
So instead of the movie I spent the day moving furniture around in my bedroom. Just in case Carmen Diaz drops by.
Saw Hansel and Gretel on New Year's day. Never quite sure where I got this love for opera...got it when I was 11. Must be a virus. I enjoy but I am not obsessed with the details, so I was a little miffed when it was by Engelburt Humperdink and no one sang 'Please release me..let me go....." Like musical versions of Peter Pan, there is a lot of gender confusion in the opera. The witch is played by a male tenor and the 10 year old Hansel and Gretel are both played by woman...sopranos. It doesn't bother me except I couldn't stop worrying about Hansel's future growing up with those girlish hips.
It was a great beginning for the year and I hope your beginning was great as well. Now....to correct the typos on my website.....
Rob
Some people cannot go to a movie by themselves. I suppose there is some sort of loser-feeling. "I am such a loser, I can't even find anyone to go to a movie with me." Most of the time, I would rather movie alone than with someone. Especially if I suggested the movie but I am not paying. Instead of the sheer enjoyment of watching images on the silver screen, in the dark, with popcorn at hand, I obsess on the worry that my movie-mate will not enjoy the movie. And that lack of enjoyment is my fault. Yesterday I planned to go to a movie. I actually awoke KEYED for a movie. About an hour before showtime, an acquaintance called and mentioned they were going to a movie and I should come with them. "...er.....I....well....I would just LOVE to....but...er...." The excuses continued and I changed my plans. The movie was out. For me it was like....to come up with an analogy you can understand... (I just wrote an extremely sexual one involving Carmen Diaz but deleted it in favor of...) You are planning to eat at the old Cafe DiNapoli but when you get there they serve you Franco American from a can. That's lame but I am trying not to be naughty.
So instead of the movie I spent the day moving furniture around in my bedroom. Just in case Carmen Diaz drops by.
Saw Hansel and Gretel on New Year's day. Never quite sure where I got this love for opera...got it when I was 11. Must be a virus. I enjoy but I am not obsessed with the details, so I was a little miffed when it was by Engelburt Humperdink and no one sang 'Please release me..let me go....." Like musical versions of Peter Pan, there is a lot of gender confusion in the opera. The witch is played by a male tenor and the 10 year old Hansel and Gretel are both played by woman...sopranos. It doesn't bother me except I couldn't stop worrying about Hansel's future growing up with those girlish hips.
It was a great beginning for the year and I hope your beginning was great as well. Now....to correct the typos on my website.....
Rob
Happy Christmas!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Monday, 2007-December-24 • 14:29
I wish I could have an open-house and have each and every one of you stop by. It would be so nice to talk in person.
I could envision just sitting by the fire listening to things on vinyl. Like Karen Carpenter's Christmas L.P. Or something serious. I can entertain myself like no one else can do. But...that sort of peace is not my lot, so with just a dribble of complaint, I (to paraphrase Mama Cass) "go where I gotta go...do what I gotta do..."
Pretty funny that without plan I mention Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass...because as you all know....if Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's ham sandwich, they would both be alive today!
Does anyone watch Extra's on HBO? What a wonderful show. Since I frequently watch shows on BBC America I love hearing the catch phrase..."Are you having a laugh?"....Last spring when I was in England, some one on the train used something similar...but more graphic. I said something and he said, "Are you having the piss?" I still laugh.
Speaking of laughing. Who is war-like and tells people to be quiet?
Conan the Librarian!
I could envision just sitting by the fire listening to things on vinyl. Like Karen Carpenter's Christmas L.P. Or something serious. I can entertain myself like no one else can do. But...that sort of peace is not my lot, so with just a dribble of complaint, I (to paraphrase Mama Cass) "go where I gotta go...do what I gotta do..."
Pretty funny that without plan I mention Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass...because as you all know....if Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's ham sandwich, they would both be alive today!
Does anyone watch Extra's on HBO? What a wonderful show. Since I frequently watch shows on BBC America I love hearing the catch phrase..."Are you having a laugh?"....Last spring when I was in England, some one on the train used something similar...but more graphic. I said something and he said, "Are you having the piss?" I still laugh.
Speaking of laughing. Who is war-like and tells people to be quiet?
Conan the Librarian!
"...have yourself a Merry Little Christmas..."Rob
Holiday Typos
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2007-December-21 • 10:45
I took a few moments to scan the latest chapter in My Story (now found in the Minnesota Years Tab) and I have to apologize for all the typos and mistakes. I warned that I was posting it un-corrected, but I didn't realize how loaded with errata it was.
So is the Christmas season treating you well. I find myself getting frazzled and tense along with the masses and when you think about it, how foolish that is. Instead of peace and contentment there are tensions and resentments. Perhaps, in my case, it is a basic selfishness. Quite frankly, I don't much like giving presents. Wait a minute. I LIKE giving presents. I don't like buying presents to give. At least I have a saving grace because I don't much care about receiving gifts either. That is a stretch from the way I was raised. My mother went absolutely mad at Christmas. She began buying gifts in June or July and wrapping in August. Often she would forget what was wrapped and to whom it was gifting and on Christmas morning after opening there would be a muttered, "That's not for you" and the present would be whisked out of your hands and given to someone else. In the early 70's I missed Christmas while I worked and the following Sunday, Don Bleu and family drove with me to have a delayed family Christmas. They were amazed when I opened 28 gifts. With the affluence that came with TDB's success I am sure his kids approached that total, if not in number in value. I'm sure most people don't get 4 footstools and a pen that writes under water for Christmas.
My main problem is that I gotten myself into a situation where I have no control over my holiday. I end up just going and doing what others tell me to do. At times I feel like the guy who followed the Wisemen's camels with a shovel. I have written somewhere on the site of a Christmas in Modesto when I made a huge pot of killer chili on Christmas Eve. I miss things like that. I still love Christmas but it is the concept rather than the reality that fills me with joy.
Sometime over the week-end I'll hit the key that delivers my internet Christmas cards. If you get one....great. If you didn't make the list...sorry. In either situation, I really do wish you a Happy Christmas and a wonderfully contented New Year.
In the meantime, I will trudge to where I am told, keep my mouth shut and feel like all my chestnuts are....
"....roasting on an open fire...."Rob
PS: A listener from the 'old days' wrote and asked me a question about a song and group on a TV/radio commercial from back then. It seems familiar to me but I am drawing a memory blank. Not surprising. Here is the query....
...I'm thinking back to a commercial for Coca Cola back in the 60's and I'm wondering if you can tell me who the band was that did the commercial. The scene was on a beach and the band was singing, "Just a few feet back in a little white shack..." They were singing about getting a Coke from the snack shack at the beach."
Anyone want to solve this mystery?
Happy Times
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Monday, 2007-December-10 • 20:56
I have refrained from spending a lot of time with my opinions of what is wrong with radio today. Opinions are like ass-holes.... You know the rest. Quite frankly, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about radio. I have other things to think about. In any given week, if I listen to 10 minutes of regular contemporary radio there must be sports on my talk stations. I AM out of touch.
It was an unusual night when I spent a few minutes staring at the ceiling thinking about what I was wrong. I have come to two conclusions. First, the entertainment radio shows all seem to take themselves waaaaay to seriously. It irritates me that someone as mean spirited, negative, ill-informed, as Don Imus can become a millionaire. Like so many, his real talent is his ability to convince people he has some. And there are many like him.
Secondly, where is the genuine fun. I was watching an old Dean Martin show and the sheer exuberance and fun was more than contagious. It was genius. I remember a bit that Steve Allen did. He played a sports caster but it was the early version of all the various "news" reports done on SNL or copycats. I never understood that bit on Saturday Night Live. It just wasn't funny. However, when Steve Allen did it I would fall on the floor laughing.
I guess what I am saying is that most of the people I hear on radio don't really sound like they are enjoying themselves. That's my bottom line. Not surprising when you think that the least funny comment will get an LOL and just a tiny bit of humor gets a LMAO!
So, I have compiled a list of funny. Here are some. Feel free to add.
Jack Benny - Funny
The Seinfeld Show - Funny
Jerry Seinfeld - Not funny
Saturday Night Live - Not Funny
Al Franken - Not Funny
Bill Mahre - Not Funny
Ricky Gervais - Funny
Charlie Chaplin - Not Funny
Laurel & Hardy - Funny
Topo Gigo - Not Funny
Family Guy - Funny
American Dad - Not Funny
Larry King - Dead
There are a lot more, but my brain is working too hard thinking of them. Next time I'll post the parrot story and it will explain a lot.
Take Care...Rob
It was an unusual night when I spent a few minutes staring at the ceiling thinking about what I was wrong. I have come to two conclusions. First, the entertainment radio shows all seem to take themselves waaaaay to seriously. It irritates me that someone as mean spirited, negative, ill-informed, as Don Imus can become a millionaire. Like so many, his real talent is his ability to convince people he has some. And there are many like him.
Secondly, where is the genuine fun. I was watching an old Dean Martin show and the sheer exuberance and fun was more than contagious. It was genius. I remember a bit that Steve Allen did. He played a sports caster but it was the early version of all the various "news" reports done on SNL or copycats. I never understood that bit on Saturday Night Live. It just wasn't funny. However, when Steve Allen did it I would fall on the floor laughing.
I guess what I am saying is that most of the people I hear on radio don't really sound like they are enjoying themselves. That's my bottom line. Not surprising when you think that the least funny comment will get an LOL and just a tiny bit of humor gets a LMAO!
So, I have compiled a list of funny. Here are some. Feel free to add.
Jack Benny - Funny
The Seinfeld Show - Funny
Jerry Seinfeld - Not funny
Saturday Night Live - Not Funny
Al Franken - Not Funny
Bill Mahre - Not Funny
Ricky Gervais - Funny
Charlie Chaplin - Not Funny
Laurel & Hardy - Funny
Topo Gigo - Not Funny
Family Guy - Funny
American Dad - Not Funny
Larry King - Dead
There are a lot more, but my brain is working too hard thinking of them. Next time I'll post the parrot story and it will explain a lot.
Take Care...Rob
Skunked!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2007-December-07 • 21:51
I know I was grousing about it yesterday, but the Senior Christmas Lunch was fun this year. The volunteer kids from the High School did a good job of serving the geezers and even handled my brother's request for more gravy. I don't go for the food, but to see some cousins I rarely see, perhaps to win a door prize, get the various freebies including my pound of authentic Native American wild rice and have a little tradition in my life. BTW...no turkey. Roast beef and baked chicken. The only problem...only dark meat. One of the reasons I don't eat the goose or the duck. All dark meat you know. It could have been worse. Earlier in the week I was invited to a local Lutheran Church's annual Lutefisk and Swedish Meatball dinner. Boiled potatoes and Swedish meatballs are on the list of foods served in Heaven, but I'll pass on the lutefisk. I don't eat anything that swims. Another reason not to eat duck or goose.
I went to dinner with some friends and they were eating oysters. Technically an oyster doesn't swim. Does it crawl? No..I think oysters just stay there. People who eat oysters on the half shell get almost orgasmic while eating them. They are supposed to be aphrodisiacs. When I was younger I ate a dozen oysters but only 11 of them worked.
Have you noticed how different foods are eaten by different social types. I can't picture a stereotypical San Francisco gay eating at Old Country Buffet. Can you imagine some guy with a rifle in the window of his truck and a 24 pack of cheap beer teling you they were a vegan? I don't know where I'm going with all this. Somehow I got off the track. That is because my nose is plugged, it is going to be -20 tonight and tomorrow I have to help my sister-in-law decorate her Christmas tree. MY tree has been up since.....hm.....let me think.... 2002. Yup! That's right. 2002. I think after Christmas I may dust it.
Rob
I went to dinner with some friends and they were eating oysters. Technically an oyster doesn't swim. Does it crawl? No..I think oysters just stay there. People who eat oysters on the half shell get almost orgasmic while eating them. They are supposed to be aphrodisiacs. When I was younger I ate a dozen oysters but only 11 of them worked.
Have you noticed how different foods are eaten by different social types. I can't picture a stereotypical San Francisco gay eating at Old Country Buffet. Can you imagine some guy with a rifle in the window of his truck and a 24 pack of cheap beer teling you they were a vegan? I don't know where I'm going with all this. Somehow I got off the track. That is because my nose is plugged, it is going to be -20 tonight and tomorrow I have to help my sister-in-law decorate her Christmas tree. MY tree has been up since.....hm.....let me think.... 2002. Yup! That's right. 2002. I think after Christmas I may dust it.
Rob
Too Serious
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2007-December-06 • 22:47
Everyday important things happen. Everyday there are tragedies we try to understand. I spend a lot of time shouting at the TV and I am frequently tempted to bring my shouting here. I don't.
There are already too many opinions on the why and what-for. I prefer to keep my blog-umbrage among the banal and trivial. Have you ever wondered why old codgers get so upset because kids cut across their lawns? It is a time thing. Whether the world is a mess, the next generation screws it up worse, Social Security is in trouble or the Islamic Nut-Jobs will do this or that is too far in the future to worry about it. I NOW understand why old people used to say, "Well, when that happens I'll be pushing up daisies...". But when a damn kid rides his bike across the corner of your yard, BY GOD, I can deal with that RIGHT NOW!
Tomorrow I'll celebrate a bit of my Native American heritage by letting them give me a free holiday meal. Yes, the annual Senior's Christmas Dinner. I'd probably skip it (if for no other reason than it will probably be the despised turkey) but, my older brother likes me to go. And I might win one of the door prizes.
This afternoon I dropped by Old Country Buffet. I don't go their to join the competition. You know...the buffet competition. The object being to try to eat so much that you are an unprofitable customer. I just like to make myself a big salad. The salad I make would cost at least the $8.46 I pay and I'm sure someone else will pick up my gluttony slack with 6 or 7 pieces of chicken and two or three thousand calories of desserts.
My visits to Old Country Buffet lately have been star-crossed.I know my complaint isn't PC and I should have more generosity of spirt and there-but-the-grace-of-God-go-I....but sometimes I am rather shallow. Why do the people who sit in the adjoining booths always have some...well....some deformity....or unfortunate condition? It is starting to bug me. I guy in a wheel-chair with a urine bag hanging from the back full of sloshing yellow liquid. I'm sorry. A circus-fat woman who literally was sitting on two chairs. A man who picked his nose before going back for seconds. An extremely old man who shuffles feebly two and fro. A woman with literally one tooth, who makes eye-contact and smiles everytime you look up. And today, a man with a hook!
I feel so ashamed. My only solice is that a woman with one tooth is blogging at this very moment a complaint about the pervert who stares at her laciviously everytime she goes to Old Coutnry Buffet.
Rob
There are already too many opinions on the why and what-for. I prefer to keep my blog-umbrage among the banal and trivial. Have you ever wondered why old codgers get so upset because kids cut across their lawns? It is a time thing. Whether the world is a mess, the next generation screws it up worse, Social Security is in trouble or the Islamic Nut-Jobs will do this or that is too far in the future to worry about it. I NOW understand why old people used to say, "Well, when that happens I'll be pushing up daisies...". But when a damn kid rides his bike across the corner of your yard, BY GOD, I can deal with that RIGHT NOW!
Tomorrow I'll celebrate a bit of my Native American heritage by letting them give me a free holiday meal. Yes, the annual Senior's Christmas Dinner. I'd probably skip it (if for no other reason than it will probably be the despised turkey) but, my older brother likes me to go. And I might win one of the door prizes.
This afternoon I dropped by Old Country Buffet. I don't go their to join the competition. You know...the buffet competition. The object being to try to eat so much that you are an unprofitable customer. I just like to make myself a big salad. The salad I make would cost at least the $8.46 I pay and I'm sure someone else will pick up my gluttony slack with 6 or 7 pieces of chicken and two or three thousand calories of desserts.
My visits to Old Country Buffet lately have been star-crossed.I know my complaint isn't PC and I should have more generosity of spirt and there-but-the-grace-of-God-go-I....but sometimes I am rather shallow. Why do the people who sit in the adjoining booths always have some...well....some deformity....or unfortunate condition? It is starting to bug me. I guy in a wheel-chair with a urine bag hanging from the back full of sloshing yellow liquid. I'm sorry. A circus-fat woman who literally was sitting on two chairs. A man who picked his nose before going back for seconds. An extremely old man who shuffles feebly two and fro. A woman with literally one tooth, who makes eye-contact and smiles everytime you look up. And today, a man with a hook!
I feel so ashamed. My only solice is that a woman with one tooth is blogging at this very moment a complaint about the pervert who stares at her laciviously everytime she goes to Old Coutnry Buffet.
Rob
Space Invaders
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Wednesday, 2007-December-05 • 22:04
There are two reasons I could never live in the country. Make that...out in the country. Well, actually, there are dozens of reasons I could never live OUT in the country but two significant reasons dominate the list. Bears and UFO's. I am terrified of bears. Remember the movie that was sort of a Swiss Family Robinson movie but in the mountains and a grizzly bear attacks the house? As a kid I used to read magazines in my father's store. Men's magazines. Some were just excuses to look at the sexy pictures (tame by today's standarads) and some were loaded with stories of manly adventure. A strong impression if dozens of man-bear encounters. People were constantly surprising a bear and coming out the worse for it. At least in San Fran...I don't worry about being attacked by a bear. Unless I am hanging about south of Market! (Such a wonderful and unplanned SF inside joke) Once I had a nightmare about a San Francisco earthquake and in the dream I was in the streetcar tunnel under Twin Peaks and during the quake the bears had escaped from the zoo and were in the tunnel with me. It makes sense I suppose because if a bear is going to get from the zoo to south of Market, the quickest way is through the tunnel. LOL
Now, UFO's seem not to be a problem in bigger cities. With the exception of 50's movies where the Flying Saucer always takes a route that goes right by the Capitol building. In 5th or 6th grade I walked home at about 10pm one night, certain that I was going to be attacked by a UFO. Seriously, my heart was pounding loud enough to attrack an alien when I reached the safety of home. I walked all over San Francisco. I may have had reason to fear the denizens of some of the areas I passed through, but I never worried about being probed. Wait a minute. This is San Francisco...there is probing going on just about everywhere!
I was at the movies this afternoon. Just one movie but you know...that's what people say. At the MOVIES. My nephew recommended a book called No Country For Old Men. It was pretty good. Unique style of writing, The movie is playing so I dug out of the snow drifts to see it. I go as much for the popcorn as for the film. The theaters are going to start showing an HD live presentation of the Saturday afternoon Metropolitan Opera. I have loved opera since I was 11. Weird child! Maybe the aliens DID get me. The first one is on the 15th and I'll be there. I wonder if it is gauche to eat popcorn at the opera.
So, I like to sit in the first row of the stadium seating because there is a metal railing and I can put my feet up on it. Just like I used to do when I watched Hopalong Cassidy when I was 10. I used to arrange my jacket on my lap, empty the popcorn into the lining of the jacket and feet it down the sleeve into my hand. For some reason it tasted better after it made that trip. It isn't THAT stupid. Don Bleu mixes JuJuBees with his popcorn and my sister-in-law mixes popcorn with Junior Mints.
There was no in my row except me. And no one in the row behind me. Until some guy entered and with all the available seats chose to sit in the one directly behind me. He was a Space Invader! That was wrong. The was weird. And to make it even worse for the first 10 minutes he cleared his throat every 15-20 seconds. It was a good movie so I soon forgot he was there and I don't remember being probed but I did give him a dirty look on the way out of the theater.
On the way home the low gas light came on. I hadn't noticed how low it had gotten. The snow was pretty thick the last couple of days and the visibility was poor. Plus I was on the look-out for bears and UFO's and I just don't multitask well. I got gas at a strange station and it was disconcerting because I couldn't figure out how the thing worked. I GOT gas. That sounds disgusting. But then I don't want to say I pumped gas because that sounds kind of pornographic. We used to laugh like hell about pumping ethel.
Anyway, I made it through the storm....kept my world protected. (Sorry Barry--And Sorry about your politics too...)
Speaking about Christmas....I have a wonderful spot for a new flat screen....
Rob
Now, UFO's seem not to be a problem in bigger cities. With the exception of 50's movies where the Flying Saucer always takes a route that goes right by the Capitol building. In 5th or 6th grade I walked home at about 10pm one night, certain that I was going to be attacked by a UFO. Seriously, my heart was pounding loud enough to attrack an alien when I reached the safety of home. I walked all over San Francisco. I may have had reason to fear the denizens of some of the areas I passed through, but I never worried about being probed. Wait a minute. This is San Francisco...there is probing going on just about everywhere!
I was at the movies this afternoon. Just one movie but you know...that's what people say. At the MOVIES. My nephew recommended a book called No Country For Old Men. It was pretty good. Unique style of writing, The movie is playing so I dug out of the snow drifts to see it. I go as much for the popcorn as for the film. The theaters are going to start showing an HD live presentation of the Saturday afternoon Metropolitan Opera. I have loved opera since I was 11. Weird child! Maybe the aliens DID get me. The first one is on the 15th and I'll be there. I wonder if it is gauche to eat popcorn at the opera.
So, I like to sit in the first row of the stadium seating because there is a metal railing and I can put my feet up on it. Just like I used to do when I watched Hopalong Cassidy when I was 10. I used to arrange my jacket on my lap, empty the popcorn into the lining of the jacket and feet it down the sleeve into my hand. For some reason it tasted better after it made that trip. It isn't THAT stupid. Don Bleu mixes JuJuBees with his popcorn and my sister-in-law mixes popcorn with Junior Mints.
There was no in my row except me. And no one in the row behind me. Until some guy entered and with all the available seats chose to sit in the one directly behind me. He was a Space Invader! That was wrong. The was weird. And to make it even worse for the first 10 minutes he cleared his throat every 15-20 seconds. It was a good movie so I soon forgot he was there and I don't remember being probed but I did give him a dirty look on the way out of the theater.
On the way home the low gas light came on. I hadn't noticed how low it had gotten. The snow was pretty thick the last couple of days and the visibility was poor. Plus I was on the look-out for bears and UFO's and I just don't multitask well. I got gas at a strange station and it was disconcerting because I couldn't figure out how the thing worked. I GOT gas. That sounds disgusting. But then I don't want to say I pumped gas because that sounds kind of pornographic. We used to laugh like hell about pumping ethel.
Anyway, I made it through the storm....kept my world protected. (Sorry Barry--And Sorry about your politics too...)
Speaking about Christmas....I have a wonderful spot for a new flat screen....
Rob
Free Day
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Tuesday, 2007-December-04 • 11:46
Remember when you were in school, dreading a test or worried about an assignment unfinished and the fates stepped in with a SNOW DAY! Today, I feel like that. For weeks I have fretted and stewed over a doctor's appointment in Minneapolis. Yesterday his office called and cancelled. He was stuck in Boston and I avoided being stuck in Minneapolis. It is snowing here but the brunt of the storm is to the south and in celebration I am going to jump in a fresh snow bank and make angels.
Actually, I wouldn't venture out the door if I didn't have to re-stock the larder. I would never make it as a Mormon because I rarely have anything on-hand. I can do all my shopping at the local Cub...some power bars, diet Mountain Dew, a couple of Stouffers and I am good to go. And thanks to the self-check-out, I can also get condoms, lube, hemmaroid cream, anti-itch medicine, laxatives, beard dye, wet-wipes, toilet paper, toe fungus ointment, sanitary napkins, Depends, and tweezers without the least fear of embarassment.
Since I am not in San Francisco, I will put everything in double plastic bags. Tomorrow I may go to Home Depot to get a new lock for my medicine cabinet.
Have a good day..how's your Christmas shopping going? I need an air freshener for the Lexus.
Rob
Actually, I wouldn't venture out the door if I didn't have to re-stock the larder. I would never make it as a Mormon because I rarely have anything on-hand. I can do all my shopping at the local Cub...some power bars, diet Mountain Dew, a couple of Stouffers and I am good to go. And thanks to the self-check-out, I can also get condoms, lube, hemmaroid cream, anti-itch medicine, laxatives, beard dye, wet-wipes, toilet paper, toe fungus ointment, sanitary napkins, Depends, and tweezers without the least fear of embarassment.
Since I am not in San Francisco, I will put everything in double plastic bags. Tomorrow I may go to Home Depot to get a new lock for my medicine cabinet.
Have a good day..how's your Christmas shopping going? I need an air freshener for the Lexus.
Rob
Between Turkeys
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Monday, 2007-December-03 • 21:44
I am impelled to write about turkey. A few years ago I wrote somewhere on the site about things people do just because people do. Turkey falls in that catagory. Does anyone REALLY like turkey? There is so much wrong with it. First, it really doesn't taste very good. Turkey gravy is good and proper home-made stuffing (not Stovetop) is tasty. Even deli-turkey seems to come from a different animal. The turkey inflicted on me at Thanksgiving never rises to its promise. Bags, basting, pop-up timers, deep-fryers, Butterball, fresh, frozen, turkey filet...all fail to provide the universal quest: a moist bird! (Somehow that sounds vaguely pornographic)
You may think I'm full of shit because millions of people supposedly LOVE turkey. Millions of people supposedly think Willie Nelson can sing. (zing!) I just thought of my best argument against turkey. Ask 20 people what their favorite food is and if even one says...turkey...I'll stick a wishbone in my eye. The answers will be pizza or steak or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or Kraft Cheese and Macaroni. If turkey doesn't even make anyone's top 20 then why oh why is their this holiday obsession with it?
I am a traditional sort of guy so in spite of my turkey-scorn, I'll accept it as a yearly infliction. I know, however, that the demons of hell dwell in those who cook up another bird for Christmas! Please...! Please....! I rather have chicken.
One acceptable use of turkey-off-the-bone is the sandwich my older brother taught me to make as a child. Make toast. Butter the toast and liberally slather on mayonaise (or if you are a philistine, Miracle Whip). Now, slices of turkey (chunky ones) and perhaps a little left over dressing. Sliced pickles and some left over salad. Even cole slaw is permissable. Now that the sandwich is complete cut it into quarters diagonally corner to corner and dip each bite in ketchup and consume with cold milk. Heaven! I'm in Heaven!
The same sandwich, though, is much better with left over roast beef. If I ever see anyone make this sandwich on the Food Channel, I shall sue.
Rob
You may think I'm full of shit because millions of people supposedly LOVE turkey. Millions of people supposedly think Willie Nelson can sing. (zing!) I just thought of my best argument against turkey. Ask 20 people what their favorite food is and if even one says...turkey...I'll stick a wishbone in my eye. The answers will be pizza or steak or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or Kraft Cheese and Macaroni. If turkey doesn't even make anyone's top 20 then why oh why is their this holiday obsession with it?
I am a traditional sort of guy so in spite of my turkey-scorn, I'll accept it as a yearly infliction. I know, however, that the demons of hell dwell in those who cook up another bird for Christmas! Please...! Please....! I rather have chicken.
One acceptable use of turkey-off-the-bone is the sandwich my older brother taught me to make as a child. Make toast. Butter the toast and liberally slather on mayonaise (or if you are a philistine, Miracle Whip). Now, slices of turkey (chunky ones) and perhaps a little left over dressing. Sliced pickles and some left over salad. Even cole slaw is permissable. Now that the sandwich is complete cut it into quarters diagonally corner to corner and dip each bite in ketchup and consume with cold milk. Heaven! I'm in Heaven!
The same sandwich, though, is much better with left over roast beef. If I ever see anyone make this sandwich on the Food Channel, I shall sue.
Rob
Countdown
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Monday, 2007-November-19 • 20:45
Back when I first began the website I used to have regular rants. Some of the classics from those writings are still there including one of my favorite Thanksgiving stories. My family is nuts. After about a year of rants someone wrote asking if I ever ranted about anything that didn't involve food. I was nice in my answer but I should have just wrote FY! All this comes to mind because I have been thinking of the Thursday dinner since Saturday. Today, it really began to obsess me. There is no way the actual meal will rise to the level of the anticipation. I now think that looking forward to it is much more fun than actually eating the meal and certainly better than the way you feel afterwards.
As gluttonous as I am on Thanksgiving I have never actually vomited. Once at a friend's home I used my arm to keep some kids toss-up from flowing into the carpeting but that is the closest I came to TG-Barf. No matter where I eat my Thanksgiving meal, it seems the cooks were spectacular. With a couple of exceptions. Even those exceptions are memorable for one reason or another. Eight years ago I had my Thanksgiving Day dinner at a hauf brau in San Francisco on Van Ness called Tommy's Joint. I was shocked by how many others were settling for Thanksgiving on a tray. The line was out the door and down the block. I am not that fond of turkey but had Tommy's out of a need for tradition. The buffalo chili or corn beef might have been a better choice. One thing about Tommy's...they served my favorite beer. Bohemia
I had some memorable meals with the Bleu's, with my brother Tim, with Kenny Tinkle and his kids and Jon Castro...and at least one with Swanson and of course Tommy. Maybe it is the people who make Thanksgiving special and not the food?
Nah! It's the food.
Rob
As gluttonous as I am on Thanksgiving I have never actually vomited. Once at a friend's home I used my arm to keep some kids toss-up from flowing into the carpeting but that is the closest I came to TG-Barf. No matter where I eat my Thanksgiving meal, it seems the cooks were spectacular. With a couple of exceptions. Even those exceptions are memorable for one reason or another. Eight years ago I had my Thanksgiving Day dinner at a hauf brau in San Francisco on Van Ness called Tommy's Joint. I was shocked by how many others were settling for Thanksgiving on a tray. The line was out the door and down the block. I am not that fond of turkey but had Tommy's out of a need for tradition. The buffalo chili or corn beef might have been a better choice. One thing about Tommy's...they served my favorite beer. Bohemia
I had some memorable meals with the Bleu's, with my brother Tim, with Kenny Tinkle and his kids and Jon Castro...and at least one with Swanson and of course Tommy. Maybe it is the people who make Thanksgiving special and not the food?
Nah! It's the food.
Rob
Sorry!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2007-November-16 • 11:05
I know I should have written a lot more but, damn! I can be lazy. If you look at the regular site you'll see that the story continues and I have left the Twin Cities and actually moved on to the story of my brief career visit to Duluth. Speaking of Duluth, tonight I will take a small part in the annual lapse of sanity known as the Christmas City of the North Parade. No matter what the weather, snow, cold, rain, sleet, blizzard, heatwave, the parade happens. Most years the city crews arrive later in the evening to pick up the trash and chip free various parade watchers frozen to the sidewalk.
Now that I am back and plan to remain static until after Christmas, hopefully I'll drop you all a line more often. I actually know for sure there are 7 people who read my blog regularly. Sorry you checked it so often and found nothing to read.
Take care and later--
Rob
Now that I am back and plan to remain static until after Christmas, hopefully I'll drop you all a line more often. I actually know for sure there are 7 people who read my blog regularly. Sorry you checked it so often and found nothing to read.
Take care and later--
Rob
Coming Soon!!
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2007-October-25 • 21:08
I actually finished the first half of the WEBC part of My Story and it should be posted soon. Now that I am back on a single track and should be able to 'leave for California' before the end of the year.
I haven't written for a couple of days because this week has been one of those kind of weeks. Nothing to write about. Nice to hear from you and I will reply to ALL my mail before the end of the week.
Rob
I haven't written for a couple of days because this week has been one of those kind of weeks. Nothing to write about. Nice to hear from you and I will reply to ALL my mail before the end of the week.
Rob
True Stuff
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Sunday, 2007-October-21 • 19:41
When you stop to think about it...was John Belushi really funny? Are there more fat people at Old Country Buffet than at a regular restaurant. Should there be a moritorium on the word, "hot"?
I watched the Vikings today but it wasn't as traumatic as it could have been if I really thought they might win. I stopped at a 7-11 and picked up a cheese Slurpee and a bag of Cheeto's and I was good to go. Has anyone watched that TV show, Vive Laughlin. This show is like some kind of nightmare. If you thought West Side Story was irritating when these gang members jete' down the gritty streets of New York, in THIS tv show they burst into song and jump on tables at the drop of a hat! Ten minutes into it I was ready to delete...but it was like a car wreck. Not only did I keep looking but I was actually hoping to see some dead bodies.
I went to see that Mark Wahlberg/Joaquin Phoenix movie and it was just o.k. Nothing great. The best thing was seeing that Joaquin had packed on more pounds then Marie Osmond. Yes, yes...I watch that Dancing With The Stars. I have no idea who these people are...Michael Clayton, btw, is pretty good even though George Clooney bugs the crap out of me. It's politics. Speaking of politics...I think libs are more likely to buy into conspiracy theories than normal people. (ha ha) I still think that George Kennedy had something to do with Marilyn Monroe's death. (You know those Kennedys)
Take care.. Rob
I watched the Vikings today but it wasn't as traumatic as it could have been if I really thought they might win. I stopped at a 7-11 and picked up a cheese Slurpee and a bag of Cheeto's and I was good to go. Has anyone watched that TV show, Vive Laughlin. This show is like some kind of nightmare. If you thought West Side Story was irritating when these gang members jete' down the gritty streets of New York, in THIS tv show they burst into song and jump on tables at the drop of a hat! Ten minutes into it I was ready to delete...but it was like a car wreck. Not only did I keep looking but I was actually hoping to see some dead bodies.
I went to see that Mark Wahlberg/Joaquin Phoenix movie and it was just o.k. Nothing great. The best thing was seeing that Joaquin had packed on more pounds then Marie Osmond. Yes, yes...I watch that Dancing With The Stars. I have no idea who these people are...Michael Clayton, btw, is pretty good even though George Clooney bugs the crap out of me. It's politics. Speaking of politics...I think libs are more likely to buy into conspiracy theories than normal people. (ha ha) I still think that George Kennedy had something to do with Marilyn Monroe's death. (You know those Kennedys)
Take care.. Rob
Bored With It All
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2007-October-18 • 12:21
Taffy had a wonderful moment added on to yesterday's thread. Some of the rest of you leeches should add something also. Someone wrote and commented that I sound bored. I may be a little but not George Saunders bored. (If you want an explanation of that write me) I am not really bored. I am unstimulated. Every day used to be a competition. Days full of dreams and fears, attentions and slights, enemies and potential enemies. Now, I wake to a certainty that my day will be spent drifting on a calm sea and I fall to sleep having conquered nothing.
James Webb wrote that in The Emperor's General. What's missing these days is the search. I'll have to consider taking some chances in the coming year. Without a fear of failure what is the joy in success. I thought of another quote. Dorothy Parker. "They sicken of the calm who knew the storm"
Feel free to write anytime. I don't mind what anyone writes about me as long as it isn't true.
Rob
"For is it not true that the intensity of searching for something is merely a mask for our fear of actually finding it?"
James Webb wrote that in The Emperor's General. What's missing these days is the search. I'll have to consider taking some chances in the coming year. Without a fear of failure what is the joy in success. I thought of another quote. Dorothy Parker. "They sicken of the calm who knew the storm"
Feel free to write anytime. I don't mind what anyone writes about me as long as it isn't true.
Rob
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