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Posted by Rob Sherwood   •   Saturday, 2011-December-31 • 08:58
Eating, this week has been out of control, so when someone suggest a non-eating event, I was up for it. Also, in my regular quest for new theater experiences, I was happy to accept an invitation to see some show in a city about 80 miles north of here. The ride in the dark through miles and miles of forest was quite spooky and I expected any moment, our progress to be blocked by a huge saucer shaped flying object hovering above the highway. Of course, it would turn out that the only reason the extra-terrestrials had traveled light-years through space was to probe me, which they proceeded to do over and over again for a Martian production of BukakkeEarthlings.com....Let's just say it wouldn't have been a pleasant experience. Fortunately, nothing happened and we arrived in time to see a production of that wonderful Christmas Classic, Death of a Salesman. "Willie, I made the last payment on the house today. We're free and clear. We're free. We're free. We're free." (curtain) Actually, there wasn't a curtain, but they did darken the theater long enough for the actors to exit before coming back for their curtain calls. I could tell a couple of cast members were not only hoping for applause but also a little probing but I was not much interested in fulfilling their desires because I had to anticipate a potential date with the beta-probes on the 80 miles return trip through the northern woods of Minnesota. While musing during the drive, I conceived the idea of making my goulash when I got home. During conversational silences I planned the entire cooking process while at the same time keeping an eye peeled for tumescent little green men. I saw none unless you count the naked Lucky Charms Gremlin and I will say nothing except the stories of his prodigious member suggest he has been kissing the Blarney Stone. I arrived home, removed my scarves, gloves, coat; kicked off my shoes and sat for a while at the kitchen counter, sipping a fine red (Kool-Aid), and getting my Gordon Ramsey Mojo on. I began by finding a huge pot to boil the macaroni. I placed it in the sink and began filling it with water. It seemed to take forever. As the pot slowly filled...(the directions on the pasta suggest 5 quarts)....I began to think of Willy Loman (Character in the play) and then I thought of Arthur Miller (creator of Willie Loman) and then I thought of Marilyn Monroe (who married Arthur Miller) and then I thought....why in the world did she marry him and that made me think of that lying Lucky Charms guy. (btw -- he sent me an angry IM insisting he is NOT a gremlin but is a leprechaun. As if I don't know that leprechauns are known to have big ones only exceeded by guys in the Czech Republic.)

I was jarred out of my reverie by the sound of water splashing. I turned off the spigot, poured 2 or 3 quarts of water out of the pot to bring the total down to around five, lifted it to the stove and that is where it sits to this moment.

I had 3 squares of pizza and half a glass of red stuff. I sprinkled them with Tabasco and Parmesan cheese and crawled into bed to read and chew.

It wasn't a wasted evening but it did prove the sagacity of the admonition to beware of people bearing extra tickets to out-of-town shows. Maybe the next time, I will make a north-woods love connection, Steven Spielberg will immortalize it and Willie won't have a heart-attack. I do live in a lollipop world. Tomorrow I will chop the onions. Until then, with fond thoughts, for a wonderful 2012, I remain....

  1. MBiolo wrote on 2012-January-04 07:31:12:
    Happy New Year Rob! And will 2012 bring us a chapter or two of "My Story"???
  2. funkykenny wrote on 2012-January-05 03:41:45:
    Hey, Your off to a slow start this year since you haven't sent anything new...Let's fire this Puppy up...Happy this and that, etc., etc. Email me and let us know what you are NOT doing.. Best wishes, K&A
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