My friends and relatives like to play the "what would you do if you won the lottery?" game. Imagine walking out of some office in St. Paul or Sacramento or Peelback, Arkansas (I made that city up but it sounds right) with a check for 100 million dollars. Your $ after taxes. If you play the game the way most people play it, the game quickly gets boring. Simply, I would spend money like a drunken gym teacher. End of story. To make the 'game' interesting, make it more personal. What is the FIRST thing you would do after collecting the check and securing it in a bank or whatever? Would you sleep in the same bed that night? Would you party? Would you go on a shopping spree, book a cruise, buy a Mercedes? The very FIRST thing. Would you have a coronary infarction and drop dead on the pavement outside of Wells Fargo? (Wouldn't THAT be a kick in the nuts!) These 'what-if' games can be fun. What would you do if you went to the doctor and he says, "Oh, by the way. You'll probably be dead in 3 weeks." You'd be stunned, right? You would sob? Would you get anxious? Would you laugh? Would you say, "Well, that sucks." I know what I would do. Get a Whopper and fries and buy a package of Salem Lite 100's. I haven't smoked for 10 years now, but when I did, I loved it and three weeks after I got the news they could toss me in the ground along with the ashes and butts in that huge fucking ash tray and I'd be a happy camper. What do you think of having your picture (photograph) on your tombstone? Who chooses it? Would you want a picture if it made you look fat? My friend from Taiwan, Shao Tsi Wen wouldn't look at tombstone pictures because he thought it might capture his soul. Do souls make you fat? I mean if you capture a lot of them. You know what they say, the tombstone adds 10 pounds no matter what. I'm going for a bike ride. Thank god it is flat.

Rob