There are many reasons to vote for or against any candidate. Serious reasons. There are also trivial reasons to vote against some of them. (All of them) If I am going to be forced to watch one of them for four (eight) years, there is an esthetic dynamic.

Example from the past: As much as I liked Ronald Reagan and rever his memory, I HATED the way he would slightly pause in a sentence, wiggle his head, tilt it to one side, and then proceed. Some might find this engaging but to me it just was a persistant problem. Lyndon Johnson always looked like he needed to spit. (Am I showing my age?) Also, Lyndon Johnson had ear lobes that went beyond earlobes. We're talking your Zulu lobes here. I am not even sure if Zulus have big earlobes, but you get the picture. Bush the first was just fine for me but his son DOES have an unfortunate "What? Me worry?" likeness. Clinton is a mouth breather. His mouth is ALWAYS open.

Obama's ears are too big. If he is elected president any good comedian will be able to hold a couple of saucers next to their head and talk like Martin Luther King and everyone will know it's Barry. Dennis Kocinich doesn't look clean and also looks like he has dandruff. I don't know if either is true, but we're not talking fact here. Now Hillary. She should try to look more like Queen Elizabeth. If she looked like the Queen, I would vote for her. The Queen is not a beautiful woman but because she knows it and doesn't care she actually becomes beautiful. That whole attitude of: I look just fine because after all....I AM THE QUEEN! Hillary should dump the attempt to look good and start waving at people by holding up her hand and rotating it slowly. Eva Braun wasn't a bad looking woman but it didn't matter because who was ever going to tell Adolph, "Hey..your girlfriend is a dog..."

On the Republican side....what the hell is wrong with Rudy Guilliani. How about that forhead? He looks sneaky and the smile would freeze a lake. And all this talk about girlfriends makes me wonder about secret things and I don't like to think about Rudy's privates. Thompson's lips are too thick. Mitt Romney looks like someone who wouldn't like me. I just want to yell at him...Show me your holy underwear! And that name Mitt! He should change it to Matt. If anyone asks why he would say...I was asked to by Queen Elizabeth and what could I do? She's the Queen! Speaking of names. Huckabee!!!! No one named Huckabee will ever be President. Not until we have a black president, woman president, Muslim president, gay president, (this could also be considered a Queen president. Besides the Queen can't run unless they change the constitution and Arnold would be first in line and by then QEII would be toast. Wait a minute. Queen Latifa could run!)could anyone named Huckabee be president. He should change his name too. He should change it to...Matt. Matt Huckabee. Nope! Still won't win. Plus Matt Huckabee thinks I should never eat pizza again for the rest of my life.

John McCain is fatherly, presidential, and has a wonderfully patriotic past. He doesn't like the Bushes and that sort of bothers me because I do. Mainly though, he has a bump on one jaw that makes his cheeks asymetrical. Could I look at that bump for 8 years? Wait a minute. Will he last 8 years? Will I last 8 years?

So what am I to do?

Rob