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Posted by Rob Sherwood   •   Monday, 2009-October-12 • 21:11
Being so psychologically fragile (lol), it doesn't take much to get me reaching for the Prozac. For the last dozen years, or so, I've hated having to make ANY sort of commitment. Last July I made a dentist appointment for October 14th. It's been bothering me since the beginning of August. I don't mind the dentist. I never have any real work done, anyway. A cleaning and a gentle reminder to floss. ("Of course, I promise, I will.....ahuh.") In fact, there is something almost sensual about reclining in that special chair while people stick things in your mouth. I feel the same way about hair-cuts. I am not sure I like when they wash it for you.....or when you are finished and they brush the hair off your crotch. And then there is all that body contact when they lean over you. If it is a woman hair-doer...and she is zoftig...then your elbow is constantly digging into her boob-side...and that reminds me of my grandmother. Not that I actually ever wanted to feel my Gram's boobs....in fact....I don't even want to think about her boobs. All this reminds me of ratings books. Damn, those were horrible times waiting for the 'book'. The fall ratings used to come out around Christmas and I can't count how many Christmas' were ruined. If it came out after Christmas and was good...you wasted all the pre-holiday time worrying. If it came out before Christmas and was bad....you had a horrible holiday. A while ago I was listening to a local late morning talk-show and they were talking about their 'good' book. What made it funny is that they actually believed their book was good because THEY were good. How about they got good ratings not because of quality but because people slow down and look at car wrecks. They don't even have the basics covered. They suck. The other day they suggested they might pursue syndication. Ha Ha Ha. Where? On the Suck Network? I was going to list all the things I don't like about their show but now I think it would sound like some cranky old man complaining about people taking a shortcut across his lawn. Now that I think of that ratings report card I realize that theater had some of that too. Ever so often I dig out an old show-tape or video tape of some theater thing and like any ego-maniacal exhibitionist, I get orgasmic at how good I was. With a good box of air-checks, who needs Viagra!
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