www.robsherwood.com
Life's Rules (Continued)
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Friday, 2008-September-05 • 14:41
Never go to a movie with your parents.
My parents are gone, many years now, and to tell the truth I would give all I have to spend a couple of hours with them again. My rule only applies to living parents.
If you get by the movie selection process (they will be angry if you pick the wrong one and you'll hate the right one), there are problems looming.
"We can share a popcorn." No! No! Who knows where those fingers have been.
"Now, let's not sit too close."
"Can you see the screen?"
"This floor is sticky."
"What smells?"
If you go to a movie with the folks they will fall asleep. You may be able to tolerate that but the snoring can be distracting. Along with the drool in the popcorn.
Suddenly I am thinking of an exception. Younger women can go to a movie with their mother. As long as there aren't any graphic sex scenes. You will both be disgusted knowing that the other has done it.
All this came to mind this afternoon at the movies. I went to see the Nicholas Cage movie. Every one is the same. At least he most always dies in the end. My movie-going experience was ruined when someone sat immediately in front of me. I wasn't able to put my legs up on the seat. This reminded me of my mother saying, "Do you put your feet on the furniture at home?" Frequently, but only when unshod. Besides...at home I don't charge myself $6.50 for popcorn!
This morning I couldn't wait. I awoke at 8:23am, wandered itching and scratching into the kitchen. I found two slices of bread, one of them, the heel. I was out of Grey Poupon and mayonaise. Well, I was out of real mayo. I have the non-fat variety but that doesn't really work. As you know, it is made with recycled latex house paint and they add heaps of sugar to it to disguise the taste. A person may-as-well cover the sandwich with maple syrup. Ah, you guessed it. The left-over pot roast covered those two pathetic slices of bread...I resorted to French's yellow mustard and some anemic lettuce hunks. A dash of salt and pepper and a half empty half-gallon of milk joined the sandwich and I as I wandered back to my bed to read, eat, and drink. (I don't put the milk in a glass because it doesn't spill as easily drunk straight from the plastic jug. "Are you drinking from the bottle?"...quote from Mom.
All in all it was a good morning, a fair afternoon, and no matter what happens tonight I'm giving September 5, 2008 a B+.
Later....
Rob
My parents are gone, many years now, and to tell the truth I would give all I have to spend a couple of hours with them again. My rule only applies to living parents.
If you get by the movie selection process (they will be angry if you pick the wrong one and you'll hate the right one), there are problems looming.
"We can share a popcorn." No! No! Who knows where those fingers have been.
"Now, let's not sit too close."
"Can you see the screen?"
"This floor is sticky."
"What smells?"
If you go to a movie with the folks they will fall asleep. You may be able to tolerate that but the snoring can be distracting. Along with the drool in the popcorn.
Suddenly I am thinking of an exception. Younger women can go to a movie with their mother. As long as there aren't any graphic sex scenes. You will both be disgusted knowing that the other has done it.
All this came to mind this afternoon at the movies. I went to see the Nicholas Cage movie. Every one is the same. At least he most always dies in the end. My movie-going experience was ruined when someone sat immediately in front of me. I wasn't able to put my legs up on the seat. This reminded me of my mother saying, "Do you put your feet on the furniture at home?" Frequently, but only when unshod. Besides...at home I don't charge myself $6.50 for popcorn!
This morning I couldn't wait. I awoke at 8:23am, wandered itching and scratching into the kitchen. I found two slices of bread, one of them, the heel. I was out of Grey Poupon and mayonaise. Well, I was out of real mayo. I have the non-fat variety but that doesn't really work. As you know, it is made with recycled latex house paint and they add heaps of sugar to it to disguise the taste. A person may-as-well cover the sandwich with maple syrup. Ah, you guessed it. The left-over pot roast covered those two pathetic slices of bread...I resorted to French's yellow mustard and some anemic lettuce hunks. A dash of salt and pepper and a half empty half-gallon of milk joined the sandwich and I as I wandered back to my bed to read, eat, and drink. (I don't put the milk in a glass because it doesn't spill as easily drunk straight from the plastic jug. "Are you drinking from the bottle?"...quote from Mom.
All in all it was a good morning, a fair afternoon, and no matter what happens tonight I'm giving September 5, 2008 a B+.
Later....
Rob
Post reply
Archive