www.robsherwood.com
Try To Be PC
Posted by Rob Sherwood • Thursday, 2008-January-10 • 08:43
On the morning show in the Central Valley we used to play the game..."Who would you do?"
Last night someone tried to start a 'who would you do' game around our coffee cups (I was actually drinking hot chocolate) and it was a total failure. No one wanted to even contemplate doing Hillary. Even the supposedly good-looking candidates didn't get any action. "Hey Mitt...is that a wrinkle in your holy underwear or are you happy to see me?"
To save the day, I asked if anyone would lick the door slop from the local WalMart for $1,000. No takers. We talk about anything except one topic. It is forbidden to discuss meds and/or the reasons we take them and the ensuing side-effects. That topic is reserved for the seniors in the food court at the mall.
After we had stumbled on sex with Mike Hucksterbee and Walmart slop soup, it seemed like this would not be a sparkling example of conversational repartee. Someone searched deep in this conversational void and came up with an old chestnut.
If you could be yourself (mentally, personality, memories) but look like any person in the world...and exact copy....who would it be. For some reason someone, without thinking a moment, said Johnny Depp. I had lunch with Johnny Depp back in the 80's and he is smaller than Dennis Kocinich. He is an elf. Unfortunately, I phrased my comment as, "He's a midget." A surprisingly good actor, rich as hell, admired by many, a true success, but still...a midget. Someone at the table commented that they prefer to be called 'little people'. From that point no matter who was named as a potential physical replacement, there were negative comments. Someone said Brad Pitt. It was pointed out he has a hygiene problem and stinks. Someone commented that they prefer to call it odorifically challenged and someone else said was it a coincidence that his last name was Pitt? Problems with other choices? Well, it soon became obvious that youth was more important than looks and that says a lot doesn't it.
I look forward to my hot chocolate later today and hope the Caribou conversation is more edifying. Hmm....what would happen at the mall food court if for four seconds everyone was nude and then back to normal. Would there be mass pandemonium? Would people be so shocked there would be mass amnesia? Would there be time to check out the hot ones? How many people would scream or would they just have a mass ...WTF? I can't wait to discuss this.
Rob
To save the day, I asked if anyone would lick the door slop from the local WalMart for $1,000. No takers. We talk about anything except one topic. It is forbidden to discuss meds and/or the reasons we take them and the ensuing side-effects. That topic is reserved for the seniors in the food court at the mall.
After we had stumbled on sex with Mike Hucksterbee and Walmart slop soup, it seemed like this would not be a sparkling example of conversational repartee. Someone searched deep in this conversational void and came up with an old chestnut.
If you could be yourself (mentally, personality, memories) but look like any person in the world...and exact copy....who would it be. For some reason someone, without thinking a moment, said Johnny Depp. I had lunch with Johnny Depp back in the 80's and he is smaller than Dennis Kocinich. He is an elf. Unfortunately, I phrased my comment as, "He's a midget." A surprisingly good actor, rich as hell, admired by many, a true success, but still...a midget. Someone at the table commented that they prefer to be called 'little people'. From that point no matter who was named as a potential physical replacement, there were negative comments. Someone said Brad Pitt. It was pointed out he has a hygiene problem and stinks. Someone commented that they prefer to call it odorifically challenged and someone else said was it a coincidence that his last name was Pitt? Problems with other choices? Well, it soon became obvious that youth was more important than looks and that says a lot doesn't it.
I look forward to my hot chocolate later today and hope the Caribou conversation is more edifying. Hmm....what would happen at the mall food court if for four seconds everyone was nude and then back to normal. Would there be mass pandemonium? Would people be so shocked there would be mass amnesia? Would there be time to check out the hot ones? How many people would scream or would they just have a mass ...WTF? I can't wait to discuss this.
Rob
Post reply
Archive